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Monday Morning Mojo: It Sucks To Be Normal

By Tom Tognoli | August 24th, 2009 0 Comments

Are you an average Joe or average Jane?  I sure hope not, because average or “normal” in America today sucks!

Here are just a few things that are considered normal in America today -

  • The average American household carries nearly $11,000 in credit card debt. That sucks.
  • 63% of Americans are over weight and over 31% of Americans (nearly 90,000,000 people) are obese (that has tripled in the last 20 years.)  Nearly half a million people die each year from obesity related illnesses. That sucks!!! Want to find out where you are at? Use this BMI Calculator (Body Mass Index). If your number is not what you like, don’t start making excuses such as “it can’t be right”, “I have big bones”, “it’s my genes”, “it does not apply to my body type” or any other crap you will brainwash yourself with to make you think it is okay.  Even though it is normal, it is not okay.
  • Over 43% of marriages end in divorce (they say that percentage is climbing and may be as high as 50% today). I think a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high is because we are “normal” at everything else in our life and normal sucks?   So, because our life is normal, it leads to our marriage being normal and we know what normal is – right?  It sucks.
  • There are 49 counties in the world where the people have a longer average life expectancy than Americans. We live in America the greatest country in the world and we are number 50?!? Some say our children’s average life expectancy may be the first in history that will be less than their parents.  That sucks. Why?  Because our children are watching us and doing what we are doing.
  • Over 55% of people in America suffer from high blood pressure and over 300,000 people each year die from it.  That sucks.

Unfortunately because the majority of people in America are ‘normal’ (or average) it has become our measuring-stick to measure our lives by. What we measure ourselves against “sucks” so compared to the masses we look fine. However, for people whose life is “normal” or average, guess what?  Their life is not all that great, but they just don’t know it.  If someone is normal they are probably one or more of these – overweight, broke, addicted, divorced, depressed, unhappy, stressed out and God only knows what else.  It is all they know, so they don’t know what it could be like.  Now don’t get all bummed out if you are thinking I am normal.  The great part is we can do something about it.

It all starts with the first step – start spending more time with people who aren’t normal or average. Think about it, if all of the people you are spending your time with are like you, do you think you are going to change?  NOT. On the other hand, do you think if you hang out with people who are achieving more than the average, you might learn by their examples and achieve more than the average? You bet.

So, why isn’t this a natural behavior? Because when we spend time with people achieving more than us, it makes us uncomfortable and it exposes us. This forces us to acknowledge our weaknesses and forces us to improve and improving requires us to get uncomfortable and change.   You see, we want to spend time with people that make us feel comfortable, feel good about our life that is what is natural and easy.  When we spend time with people like us it makes it all okay that we are the way we are that we are a “Normal Joe” or a “Normal Jane”.

Something to remember – we will very rarely achieve 10% above or 10% below the average of our five best friends. The five people we spend the majority of our time with in all areas of our life.  So be careful who you are spending YOUR time with.  Don’t get too comfortable, because comfortable is typically “normal,” and “normal” sucks!

Don’t be “normal,” be exceptional and have a kick ass life!

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Tags: , , , , ,      Categories: Accountibility, Aspiration, Breakthrough, Discipline, Monday Morning Mojo, Uncategorized

Monday Morning Mojo: Amy’s Inspiration

By Tom Tognoli | August 10th, 2009 0 Comments

It was 3 years yesterday that my cousin Amy passed away from breast cancer at the age of 41.  In the final year of her life she received Monday Morning MOJO every week and loved it.  We shared thoughts back and forth via e-mail many times after I would send it.  This is the MOJO I wrote after she passed away on my flight back home from her memorial service.  I have made a commitment to send this out as a Monday Morning MOJO every year at this time as a tribute to Amy and her life.  I think there are great thoughts in this MOJO that one can never hear too often.

I walked into my home on Saturday night from one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life.

Attending and presenting a reading at the funeral of my 41 year-old cousin, Amy.

Amy was beautiful, healthy and living the American dream. She had a story book marriage and two beautiful daughters (12 and 14) when tragedy struck sixteen months ago.

In the words of her daughter, “It was a clear blue spring day – well, at least it was outside, because inside it was raining. We felt sadness and disbelief from the bad news. Not just regular bad news – but the kind where your life seems to fall apart in just two simple minutes. We listened closely to mother as she whispered, ‘Its cancer,’ and immediately feelings of shock, anger, and fear rushed through us all.”

Under her tears her daughter said faintly “Just never lose faith. Nobody knows what it’s like until it happens to them. And when it’s YOUR Mom how you view the world begins to change. You look at the mountains and now see their magnificence, just as seeing my Mom smile became everything to me. I started to appreciate life so much more. During those final months we would spend time gazing at the night sky, and I treasure everyday what she would say, ‘I love you more than all of the stars in the sky.’ Looking back at how it used to be, and how it would have been, and how it’s going to be without her by my side – truly it will never be the same.”

Her words I repeated over and over in my mind. It felt as though someone had shook me – forcing my eyes open to see the world for what it really it was. Forcing me to take a hard look at the ultimate truth, the truth that has the power to wake us up and make us live before it’s too late.

“Amy is gone,” the truth told me quietly, “and someday you will be, and so will all the people you love – it’s just a matter of time.”

So I ask you – are you doing what you want to do right now with your life, or are you putting off living your hopes and dreams because you think there will always be a tomorrow? If my cousin were here she’d tell you differently, she’d say “there will come a time when tomorrow doesn’t come, and you are wasting your time if you are not loving and laughing and enjoying your days now, while you can.”

This leaves us with a choice – we can delete this message because we find it too depressing, or we can let this message be a force that pushes us over the tipping point into the life we dream of. That is most often what it takes, something so strong it carries us past our fears and doubts and the terrors that come when we think about finally doing the things we’ve been dreaming about for so long.

Let Amy be your inspiration this morning. And realize she had a great life, doing the things she loved, with the people she loved – and she would want you to do the same.

I’ve heard it all; it’s just not possible, I’ve got obligations, responsibilities, and don’t forget the economy, and of course the – I can’t just DO what I want – I’ve got a job, bills, yada yada yada…

All those excuses mean nothing when your time comes, and who knows when that might be. All I know is the days are passing quickly and now is the time to do what YOU KNOW you need to do. Don’t put if off, or you may just be too late.

We will miss you Amy.

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Tags: ,      Categories: Aspiration, Breakthrough, Fear, Goals, Monday Morning Mojo, Positive attitude, Success, Uncategorized

Monday Morning Mojo: Become a “quick change artist”

By Tom Tognoli | May 16th, 2009 0 Comments

Sounds like a great idea. I will get started tomorrow.  Yeah right, like that is really going to happen. Just like that last thousand times he said “I will start tomorrow.

Wow, I can see how that will have a hugely positive impact on my life, but I just don’t have time to deal with making the necessary changes right now. I will try and implement that next month when things settle down.

Why is it that no matter what I seem to do not matter how much I work or how hard I try, I can never get ahead, physically, financially, spiritually, personally, or in my business?  I am trying hard everyday, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day.

Here is the first thing we all need to get real clear on, no matter how hard you try, if you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you have always gotten.  So, to get more of what we want in our lives, the key is not doing more of what we are currently doing harder, but doing different, changing the way we look at things, the way we do things.  Sounds easy right?

Becoming a “QUICK CHANGE ARTIST” is not something you become overnight. It is something you need to train yourself to become.  Most of the things we do in our life and our thoughts are a routine that have been ingrained in us over years.  So, we plow on, mindlessly doing the same old things in the same old way.  Whether these routines or thoughts are good or bad, like a drop of water which continuously hits on a rock, our habits create a hole or a rut.  And the longer the drop of our habits hit the rock, the deeper the hole.

And over time as that hole gets deeper and deeper, the harder it is to get out of the rut when we want to make a change.

So, why haven’t we forced ourselves out of the rut before now, when we know changes are going to make us happier in the long run?  Most of the time we don’t change because we are afraid. It makes us uncomfortable. It makes us feel exposed.

And the older we get the harder it is to make changes because we tend to become less and less flexible (try to touch your toes and you will see this physically).  And because we have been doing things one way for such a long time, the hole in the rock becomes the size of the Grand Canyon.  So, the key is to train ourselves to become “QUICK CHANGE ARTISTS”…someone who actually embraces change…someone who actually gets a rush from being innovative and doing it different.  Because thinking and doing things different is the road to freedom and to fulfilling our destiny.

So start challenging your routines.  Stop running into the brick walls. Stop beating your head against it. Pause. Think.  Find a new way that goes around the wall, or maybe over it.  Rest assured, the new way is there.  It does exist.  Changing your habits can itself become common place.  The first time you defy “your way” and climb out of your rut in nearly kills you. The second time, it’s real tough. The third time, it’s merely hard.  And eventually, it becomes, if not easy, then reasonably comfortable.  Your confidence grows, and the tyrant loses a large part of its hold on you.  Then, the magic of having a life that is unbelievable…pure magic starts to unfold!!!

Here is to you becoming a “QUICK CHANGE ARTIST”and make it a great week!

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Categories: Breakthrough, Monday Morning Mojo, Positive attitude

Monday Morning Mojo: Breakdown to breakthrough

By Tom Tognoli | April 27th, 2009 0 Comments

“I just can’t bare it anymore”.  ”It just won’t work”.  “I just keep running into the wall”.  “I am working so hard and things aren’t getting better…they are getting worse”  “I’m calling it quits.”

Perfect!!!!

This is exactly where you need to be.  You are at the point of having that radical breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.  It is at this specific moment when the magic happens for those few who can suck it up and grind through the pain, the failure, and the doubt.  When you are at the point of throwing in the towel and calling it quits is exactly when you need to turn up the heat and really go for it, because you are at the Tipping Point.

I know it sounds kind of nuts, but you have to experience the breakdown to have the breakthrough. It is just part of the process of getting better. This is how it is with almost everything in life. Personally, professionally, with your health, you name it.

When we are born, we naturally have this fight in us. It is how we learn to walk, talk and read.  But then over time most of us lose our ability to not give up.  Our job, now more than ever, is to get it back.

The tough part is when you are one of the few who embrace failure as part of the process of getting better, you are going against the tide.  Because most people look to go the path of least resistance. Not fighting when the going gets tough. Just giving up is the norm. Most people are looking for the short cut, the quick fix diet or pill, the home run investment, the easy way to the top.

That is why obesity is one of the biggest epidemics in society and why so many people file bankruptcy and why so many marriages end in divorce.  Rather than doing what it takes to get what they want, people give up when the going gets tough and try the quick fix solution instead. We try and find the easy way to avoid the pain.  There is no easy way, you have to attack it head on.  You just have to eat less/healthier and workout regularly, invest consistently, wisely and be patient, talk it out when you and your spouse are fighting.

You have to embrace the path of resistance – the path only the lucky 5 to 10 percent of society have the discipline and commitment to travel.

So, attack failure and breakdowns because it is the last step just before the breakthrough to getting what you want.

Don’t fear the breakdown. You actually need to embrace it as part of the process of getting better.  It is those people that when things become almost unbearable…when everyone else starts throwing in the towel and giving up. It is those that can keep on track just a little longer when most others quit who will experience the radical breakthrough to get what you want and taking it to that next level.

Make it a GREAT week!!!!

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Categories: Breakthrough, Fear, Monday Morning Mojo

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