Monday Morning Mojo

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Change or Die?!

By Tom Tognoli | January 30th, 2012 0 Comments

What if a well-informed, trusted authority figure said you had to make difficult and enduring changes in the way you think and act?

If you didn’t make those changes, you would die soon. A lot sooner than you had to.

Could you change when change really mattered?

Yes, you say? Try again. Most likely you wouldn’t change.

Don’t believe me? Let me share with you the odds – 9 to 1. That’s 9 to 1 against you.

Do you realize a SMALL percent of the population consumes the VAST majority of the health care budget for diseases that are very well known, and by in large behavioral? We are sick because of how we choose to live our lives, not because of any environmental or genetic factors beyond our control. They say it could be as much as 80% of our health care budget is consumed by these behavioral issues – smoking, eating, drinking, stress and lack of exercise.

Could behaviors be driving issues in more than one area of our lives? Could we ultimately be in control of the aspects we felt were a product of conditions outside our control?

Do you want some more proof of the challenge we all face in change?

There was a study done back in 1995 of people who went through bypass surgery (open heart surgery). Of those studied, within 2 years from surgery 90% went right back to their old unhealthy lifestyle. So, if the fear of DEATH doesn’t initiate change – is there any hope? More importantly how do we get our stubborn brain to stop resisting change so tenaciously. Why do we fight it even when we KNOW if we don’t it will kill us?

Well, knowing that motivating people with the fear of death wasn’t the right approach because 90% went right back to where they were before, the study tried a different approach. They decided to change the patients focus. Have any idea to what? The joy of LIVING.

The study took 300 patients and put a 100% daily effort into focusing their minds on all the daily things that make life great. They coached them on their mindset, their attitude, their daily habits, and surrounded them continually with the RIGHT influences. It was this change of focus – taking it away from the fear of death and into the joy of living – that allowed 77% of the patients to sustain the lifestyle changes.

What changes do we need to make? Where is our focus – in fear or in joy?

It’s time to make some changes now!

Download and read Alan Deutschman’s complete Change or Die article, my inspiration for today’s Mojo. It’s an eye opener – definitely worth taking the time to read.

Make is a GREAT week and a GREAT life!

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Morning Mojo: Defying Gravity

By Tom Tognoli | January 23rd, 2012 0 Comments

He was a physically active, healthy, and positive person growing up. He played sports and was always very active right through college. Even after college he would play pickup games of hoops, go for an occasional run and talk about all of the great things he was going to accomplish in life.

Then it all started to happen. Like it does for so many people, it did not happen all at once, but gradually over time. One day he looked at himself in the mirror and did not recognize the person he saw. He had gone from being this positive, ambitious, fit and healthy young man who was going to conquer the world and turned into this normal middle aged, overweight, cynical guy with slumped shoulders, horrible posture and a frown on his face. Heck, he did not even take the time to trim that hair growing out of his nose and ears…he just did not care anymore. You know the kind of person I am talking about. It may even be you. We see it all of the time…unfortunately, it is actually more normal that not. It is called the gravity of life. Reality of it is it is also just plain old gravity itself. Keeping fit and healthy in the equities of our life does not get easier as we get older, it gets harder. There are the aches and pains, the responsibilities, lack of time, and hanging out with our other people who are letting gravity suck them to the ground as well that helps us justify in our own minds it is okay. Well, I am here to tell you it is not okay. People, just taking it easy is why we have so much obesity, alcohol and drug addiction, poverty, money problems and divorce. The most important stuff in life requires hard work.

Gravity is what keeps us on the ground physically, but it is also what can pull us down in all the areas of our lives. And, if we let it, gravity will pull us below the ground. I have talked with my trainer, Brad, about this for years. The mindset of most people as they get older is all about working hard at life until we can take our foot off the gas and chill…get the house paid off, kids through college, retirement…

“Ah…How sweet it is going to be…lazy days, vacationing, fine wine and food, and doing a whole lot of nothing”

Well, I am here to tell you we all need to change our mindset. I know firsthand things don’t get easier as we get older; they get harder in many ways. We actually need to work harder at all the equities of our life because there is no such thing as a status quo life. Either we are getting better or we are getting worse, but we are never staying the same. And, if we aren’t working at getting better every day, gravity will suck us into the ground. We can’t just set off into the sunset. It is not easier to keep off the pounds, it is harder…it’s not easier to keep your blood pressure and cholesterol under control, it’s  harder…it’s not easier to keep connected with our kids once they are out of the house, it’s harder…it’s not easier, it’s harder in all the areas of our life.

My challenge to everyone is every day you wake up make a commitment to make at least a small improvement in all the areas of your F5 (faith, family, friends, fitness, finance) and Defy Gravity. It may require some short term pain, but I promise the long term gain is worth it!!!!!!!

Defy Gravity!!!!!

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Morning Mojo: Embrace the Pain

By Tom Tognoli | January 16th, 2012 0 Comments

Embrace the pain…it is where the growth and success are hiding.

It was the end of 2004 when she walked into my office with tears in her eyes. She had tracked me down for an interview. I had recruited her from a smaller firm where her business was not going all that well. When she joined our firm I gave her a list of what I call “success activities” and told her that if she put them in her schedule and did them every day sun or shine she would be one of the top agents in our company. She has 2 small children and a husband who works full time, but she had an amazing work ethic. She would literally get up at 4:30 or 5 every morning, come in to the office and work until 7am. Then she would go home, get her kids up and ready for school and then come back to the office and bust her butt all day doing the activities. At about 6pm she would leave to go pick up her kids from school, bring them home, have dinner and then go back to work until about 8pm to 9pm. And she did work a lot of weekends as well. She was a woman on a mission. But after probably 6 months and only 1 deal, she was on the verge of quitting and going to get a “real job.” She literally broke down in my office and told me she was not sure this job was for her. She even considered being someone’s administrative assistant. Well, after an hour or so of encouraging her and telling her not to quit, she walked out, got back on her horse and kept going. A year later she was one of the top producers in the office and today she is one of the top producers at Intero. Today she is a success,but if she had quit when the going got tough she would have failed.

If you lift weights or run or do almost any kind of training you know that nearly all of the benefit happens in the last 10% of the exercise…it is in the 12th rep of a 12 rep exercise…is the last 1/2 mile of a 7 mile run. Improvement happens when the pain is at its peak and we think we can’t take it anymore…that is how we get better. Up until that point everything is mostly just maintenance and only helps us keep what we’ve got. But if we can push through the pain even when we think we can’t take it any longer and do just a little bit more, that is where all the gain and opportunity lies. The same thing applies in business and life. So many times we see that super successful person and think they got all of the breaks…everything went their way. I can tell you that is almost never the case. There were set backs and fear and a lot of pain along the way in almost every success story. The difference between those who have massive success and the rest is not only their amazing work ethic, but their ability to push through the setbacks and pain, when most “normal” people quit. Like exercise and fitness, success at anything in life requires discipline, accountability, resiliency and doing “it” when everyone else is sleeping and/or calls it quits. It’s showing up an hour earlier and staying an hour later than everyone else. It is that last rep when lifting weights and your arms feel like they are about to explode. It is showing up and doing it again and again even when you feel like you can’t take it anymore. Push through the pain, don’t quit, and get the reward of Success.

So, who is this Success I am talking about you ask? It is Sophie Tsang in our Cupertino office.

No pain…no gain!

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Morning Mojo: EXPANSION!!!!!!

By Tom Tognoli | January 9th, 2012 0 Comments

Every quarter when a company reports their earnings, the analysts talk about the company’s earnings as a factor of top line growth or expense reduction. Is the company expanding, innovating, and doing more business so it can thrive in the years to come or is it just cutting and slashing expenses, holding on for dear life, to hit its profit numbers for investors? During any crisis or recession all smart companies will cut expenses and become more conservative, however, the best companies know that to succeed in the years to come it is about being innovating and doing more…not less. Actually the best companies not only know how to survive in challenging times, but they know how to capitalize on them and propel them to even greater long term success. They know the best time to expand is when everyone else is contracting.

This does not only apply to business but it really applies to everything in life. So, my question for you as we get 2012 rolling is do you have an expansion mindset or a recession mindset? Are your fired up about the possibilities or terrified about the “what if’s?” Over these last few years of uncertainty and recession I know firsthand, the natural instinct is to hold on and become much more conservative about everything in life. The term hunker down and take cover comes to mind. And although when we are in the midst of attack we need to be smart and do whatever we can to survive and not get slaughtered, we can’t stay in the proverbial bunker forever. At some point we need to take what we have learned from the struggle then get back on the horse and ride it again. Because as we all know the longer we wait the harder it gets. The economic and world turmoil we have experienced these last several years has really taken its toll on so many people’s physique, confidence, health, families, friendships, faith and of course their pocket books…mine included. I see so many people still completely paralyzed…people are literally afraid to make a decision and do anything because they are so focused on the worst case scenario and not the potential opportunities. Unfortunately they did not get back on the horse soon enough and now years later even the sight of it causes them to sweat.

Look…I know…I am not sitting here on my soap box telling you that I have not experienced some of this myself. I have had many sleepless nights these last few years…lying in bed staring at the ceiling running through all of my potential disaster plans and how I would survive if this happens or that happens. But if you have not shaken it off by now and gotten back to being focused on the possibilities and become expansion minded, now is the time. We can’t simply hold on to what we have and think that is good enough. Things never stay the same in our F-5 (faith, family, friends, fitness, and finance)…either they are getting better or they are getting worse. Life does not stand still and the only way it will get better is if you get back in the game of life and start taking some risks and really GOING FOR IT!!!!!!! Kind of like your New Year’s resolution to lose weight and exercise more…right? If we don’t do anything we know what will happen. No action really means negative action.

Get in action NOW!!!!!!!!

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Monday Mojo: Life is a jar of marbles

By Tom Tognoli | January 2nd, 2012 0 Comments

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Wow…where did 2011 go? Don’t the years just seem to fly by? I don’t know about you, but and the older you get the faster they seem to go. Kind of like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes…right? J

As we put another year in the book of years past and start a fresh one, let’s take a minute and really think about our life and what is most important.

Take two jars:

  • Fill one with 80 marbles and put a label on the jar that says “Years Left.”
  • Take the second jar that is empty and put a label on it that says “Years Past.”

Now take the number of marbles out of the “Years Left” jar that equals your age and put those in the “Years Past” jar. For example, I transferred 47 marbles (my age) from the “Years Left” jar to the “Years Past” jar. Now, if you are over 80, start moving the marbles back each year. Those are bonus years.

Even if you don’t physically do the exercise, take a few minutes right now to close your eyes and visualize the marbles in each of the jars. How many are there in each?

So frequently we think we have forever to accomplish the important things in life. This exercise will really open your eyes and is a great thing to keep in front of you every day. It will remind you not to take today for granted. It will slap you right in the face every day and get you into action regarding your F5 – Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness and Finance. It will pull your head right out of the proverbial sand very quickly.

How can we make the marbles in the “Years Left” magical and how can we add extra marbles to the “Years Past” jar? It is actually not that complicated but incredibly difficult for most people to do. Spend time every day focused on making a slight improvement in all the areas of your F-5. Because if you are not improving in those areas a little bit everyday you are slipping back a little bit in each of those areas every day. We never stay the same.

You can do this exercise with many different aspects of your life. For example if you have kids, put 18 marbles in a “Years Left” jar when they are born and then each year take one marble out and put it in the “Years Past” jar. That will get you to go play catch with your kids and not take them for granted.

Yes, we can always say I will do it tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. The question we have to ask ourselves is how many marbles do we have left and should we wait or quit procrastinating and just do it.

Don’t wait…Just do it!!!!!!!!!!

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Monday Mojo: Top five Mojos of 2011

By Tom Tognoli | December 26th, 2011 0 Comments

As we say goodbye to 2011 and look forward to the awesome possibilities of 2012, let’s not forget that sometimes what motivates and inspires us are the everyday acts and simple things that anyone can do to make this world and ourselves better. With this in mind we compiled a list of the most popular and inspirational Mojo’s of 2011.

  1. The tiny black dot
    If you’ve been staring at some tiny black dots recently, take responsibility for that. And recognize that nobody is forcing you to keep your eyes on the black dot. You have a choice. You can keep staring at the black dot and telling others about all the things that are wrong in your life, or you can begin to appreciate your many blessings. Sounds like a pretty easy choice to make, doesn’t it?
    Read More
  2. Be 110% committed
    Most people just want to dip their toes in the water with things in life when what we really need to do is dive in! You see it every day – people showing up but not going full out. It will be the difference between winning and losing. The good thing is most people go through life only playing half speed. So if you go 110% you will not only score, but you will CRUSH IT and win!!
    Read More
  3. Success has to be an obsession
    Success…how bad do you really want it? So many of us say we want to be successful, but we really don’t want it bad enough and that is why we don’t have it. You have to want it so bad that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get it. Because until you get to the point where all you want to do is be successful and nothing else matters, success will elude you. It has to be an obsession.
    Read More
  4. My life is in a rut
    In life we can’t live between the ruts, it’s just too hard, it’s like trying to balance on a tight rope for our entire life – eventually we get tired and fall to one side. Let’s make the commitment today to scrape and claw our way out of the bad ruts. Once we’re out, just roll over and fall into the good rut. There will be short-term pain with getting out, but it will pass and then you will experience the long-term gain of living life in the good ruts.
    Read More
  5. Challenge + Crisis + Pain = Opportunity
    Why does life throw challenges and crisis at us, like the crisis we have all been dealing with for the last year? In every crisis and in every challenge there is an opportunity. We just have to find it. Remember, life is about who we become and how we grow when faced with challenge, with crisis, and with pain. It is what life is all about. It is why we are here. So step back and look in the mirror, who are you becoming?
    Read More

2012 is going to be a great year!

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Morning Mojo: Merry Christmas

By Tom Tognoli | December 19th, 2011 0 Comments

Can you believe it? Christmas is only six days away.

I would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and thank you for the wonderful gift. Thank you for the gift of opportunity to share Monday Morning MOJO with you.

By having to think, research and create ideas to share every week it has forced me to reaffirm what is important to me in my life.  By writing Monday Morning MOJO I have also attracted into my life more of the things which are important to my family, my friends, our company and me.

As we have discussed in past Monday Morning MOJO’s, one of the best ways to get more of what you want in life is to help others get more of what they want. I hope I have been able to help you do just that – you have certainly helped me. You have been my best accountability partner in 2011.

So, don’t forget to get more of what you want next year – help others get more of what they want. You have to give to get!

So, what do you want Monday Morning MOJO to provide you for Christmas?

I have been sending out Monday Morning MOJO now for nearly a decade and I thought I would ask you what you are struggling with in life, what breakthroughs are you wanting to accomplish but just can’t quite seem to make it happen? What questions do you want Monday Morning MOJO to help with? Do you have an inspirational story to share – one that you think can make a difference for the thousands of people who receive Monday Morning MOJO?  It’s the stories of real experiences that truly make the difference and have the largest impact.

My gift to you today for Christmas is MOJO. What exactly is MOJO you ask?

MOJO defined is:

  • A magic charm or spell
  • The art or practice of casting magic spells
  • An object, as an amulet or charm that is believed to carry a magic spell
  • MOJO is me sending you success, health, and happiness.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

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Morning Mojo: Get it!!!!!!

By Tom Tognoli | December 12th, 2011 0 Comments

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season. I don’t know about you, but this time of year with so many things to do I sometimes feel like I am one step behind and can’t keep up…holiday parties, Christmas shopping, packed malls, yearend projects, etc.  I can become impatient. Remember as we go through the holiday season what it is all about. Also remember sometimes things and people are not as they appear.  Check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TINwByhK2v4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Happy Holidays.

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Morning Mojo: 21 Gun Salute

By Tom Tognoli | December 5th, 2011 0 Comments

People measure success by the money they make, houses they own, cars they drive, toys they have, or title on their business card. The true measure of success is none of that stuff. The true definition of success in life is how much you have loved and been loved.

He was a great leader, father, and friend to many. With hundreds of people in the room he was honored with tears, smiles and laughter. One of his best friends, Roger Malech, gave him what he called his 21 gun salute at the memorial. He shared with us the 21 most important things he taught him. Based on the number of people in attendance at his memorial I think he taught them to us all. This past week we honored the life of one of Intero’s original Founders, Kevin Moles…a man who defined success. Kevin unexpectedly passed away at the age of 55 a few weeks ago, this is his 21 gun salute.

1.      Cowboy boots go with anything – even a Tuxedo.

2.      It’s okay for a man to smell good, I mean really good. No man smelled as good as Kevin. I remember more than once my wife would come home and I would say, “Why do you smell like men’s cologne?” and she would say “I saw Kevin today and he gave me a hug”

3.      There’s no situation so bad that a little Beach Boys won’t help.

4.      A party is not a real party unless Hank shows up. And we all know he was talking about Hank Williams Jr.

5.      It is possible to pass another car on a freeway on-ramp. I learned this first hand because I was with him when he passed Kristi Pritchard on the Leavesly on-ramp.

6.      The top speed on 101 between the Dunne and Cochrane exits is 130 MPH.

7.      It’s completely acceptable to take 2 hours off in the middle of the work day and see a movie, even if it’s just the movie “Joe Dirt” and it’s playing in Kevin’s family room.

8.      The best way to solve a problem is to start by putting your feet on your desk.

9.      The worst day selling real estate is better than the best day picking strawberries. Kevin had this fantasy of loading up all the agents on a bus for a mystery play day. He wanted to take them all to a strawberry farm on a summer day and have them pick strawberries for 4 hours. He was convinced that this was the way to stop the whining about how difficult selling real estate was. We never did that but I can’t pass a strawberry farm to this day without being thankful that I am in the business I am.

10.  In the term “Independent Contractor”, the word “Independent” is greatest, by far.

11.  You never know what the tide will bring in. This is from the movie “Castaway” and it references when Tom Hanks is hopeless and can’t get off the island but is looking out to sea and notices a piece of an old port-a-potty floating in the surf. He eventually uses it as a sail to get off the island. When Kevin would tell me “You never know what the tide will bring in”, he was offering hope. It was his way of saying keep going. Keep looking to the surf. Don’t give up. Life may give you a port-a-potty but you can use it to sail to freedom. Kevin really believed that.

12.  The most important recruiting technique is to keep the people you have happy.

13.  The second most important recruiting technique is to be attractive to other agents.

14.  If you treat a group of people with respect and love, give them what they need, and then leave them alone, they will follow you anywhere. This was proven 9 years ago when 42 of us left the company we worked for and joined the first Intero office here in Morgan Hill. We didn’t know what Intero meant, we didn’t know what to expect, and we didn’t even know what our commission splits were going to be. None of that mattered because we wanted to be with Kevin. Last week I was talking to Ira Marshall, a financial planner that Kevin used. He told me that every time he met with Kevin, Kevin would share concerns about the agents. He would talk about them by name and asked Ira if he could meet with them and help them. Ira told me “Kevin had a love affair with his agents. He really did care about them. It wasn’t just about business.”

15.  If the term “generous to a fault” were true, Kevin was the faultiest man I’ve ever known.

16.  Real men can kiss and hug each other.

17.  Real men can say “I love you” to each other. Often times, including the last time I saw him, Kevin would ask me “Who loves you baby?” I would say “Ummm you?”

18.  Real men admit their mistakes. One day, after his divorce, Kevin and I were having a heart to heart and he said “I really screwed up Rog. Tesha is the best woman I’ll ever know.”

19.  Yesterday is a cancelled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is legal tender, spend it wisely.

20.  God can use us, however flawed we might be, to have an incredible impact on others. I am not the same man I was as before I met Kevin. He was a friend, a brother, and a mentor. He will not be forgotten because I feel like I owe him a debt that can never be re-paid. He was instrumental in helping me get sober 15 years ago and I dedicate the rest of my days of sobriety to him.

21.  You can’t outrun God. Kevin wrestled with God his entire life and we had many discussions about spiritual things. The last time I saw him it was very evident that his wrestling was over. He had made peace with God and told me He had committed his life to Jesus and had been baptized. That doesn’t mean his troubles were over but it does mean that I will see him again. I look so forward to that and I can’t wait until we can both share a glass of wine (without the burden of addiction) with Jesus and I will hear those familiar words “Who loves you, baby?”

We love you Kevin and we will see you in Heaven.

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Morning Mojo: Get Comfortable with Change

By Tom Tognoli | November 28th, 2011 0 Comments

Does any of this sound familiar?

“…sounds like a great idea, I will get started tomorrow.” Yeah right…like that is really going to happen…just like the last thousand times he said “I will start tomorrow.”

“Wow, I can see how that will have a hugely positive impact on my life, but I just don’t have time to deal with making the necessary changes right now…I will try and implement that next month when things settle down.” We all know things never “settle down.”

“Why is it that no matter what I seem to do…not matter how much I work or how hard I try, I can never get ahead in my F5 (Faith, Family, Friends Fitness, Finance)? I am trying hard every day, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day.”

Here is the first thing we all need to get real clear on…no matter how hard we try, if we continue to do what we have always done, we will continue to get what we have always gotten. So, to get more of what we want in our lives, the key is not doing more of what we are currently doing harder, but doing different…changing the way we look at things….the way we do things. Sounds easy…right? NOT!!!!

Getting comfortable with change does not happen overnight…it is something we need to train ourselves to get comfortable with. Most of the things we do in our life and our thoughts are a routine that have been engrained in us over YEARS. So, we plow on, mindlessly doing the same old things in the same old way. Whether these routines or thoughts are good or bad, like a drop of water which continuously hits on a rock, our habits create a hole or a rut. And the longer the drop of our habits hit the rock, the deeper the hole. Over time as that hole gets deeper and deeper, the harder it is to get out of the rut when we want to make a change.

So, why haven’t we forced ourselves out of the rut before now? Most of the time we don’t change because we are afraid…it makes us uncomfortable…makes us feel exposed…or we are just plain lazy. And the older we get the harder it is to make changes because we tend to become less and less flexible. And because we have been doing things one way for such a long time, the hole in the rock becomes the size of the Grand Canyon. So, the key is to train ourselves to get comfortable with change…someone who actually embraces change…someone who actually gets a rush from being innovative and doing it different.

Start challenging your routines. Stop running into the brick wall. Pause…Think. Find a new way that goes around the wall, or maybe over it. Rest assured, the new way is there. It does exist. Changing your habits can itself become common place. The first time you defy “your way” and climb out of your rut it nearly kills you…the second time, it’s real tough…the third time, it’s merely hard. And eventually, it becomes, if not easy, then reasonably comfortable. Your confidence grows, and the tyrant loses a large part of its hold on you. Then, the magic of having a life that is unbelievable pure magic starts to unfold!!!

Make it a powerful week!!!!!

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