Monday Morning Mojo

« Older Entries

Monday Mojo: My life is in a rut!

By Tom Tognoli | August 30th, 2010 0 Comments

“I’m stuck in a rut…I’m just not happy with where I am in my life.”

We can feel this way about our health, our relationships, our job – we can feel like we are stuck in a rut, good or bad, about anything in life.  So, how do we get out of a bad rut? The bad news is it takes a lot of work to get out of it.  The good news is, when we are in a good rut it’s also hard to get out of it.

The key is to get stuck in as many good ruts as possible. I call them the ruts of life. Look at all aspects of your life – health, family, spirituality, business, financial, etc.  What kind of ruts are you stuck in – good or bad? Are you happy or are you sad, inspired or not inspired, purpose driven or not purpose driven, healthy or unhealthy, motivated or not motivated, have good relationships or bad relationships? I think anyone who tells us “its okay” or “I’m fine” is in a bad rut – they’re just in denial. They just don’t know it and/or don’t want to admit it.

In life we can’t live between the ruts, its just too hard. It’s like trying to balance on a tight rope for your entire life. Eventually you will get tired and fall to one side, so don’t be indecisive. You have to accept the fact you are going to get stuck in one of two ruts – the good one or bad one.  In the book The Purpose Driven Life it say’s “Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make.  Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way they will define you.”

Let’s make the commitment today to scrape and claw our way out of the bad ruts. Once we are out – fall into the good ruts. There will be short-term pain with getting out, but it will pass and then you will experience the long-term gain of living life in the good ruts.

Get stuck in the good ruts and make it a GREAT week!

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: Amy’s Inspiration

By Tom Tognoli | August 23rd, 2010 0 Comments

It’s been 4 years since my cousin Amy passed away from breast cancer at the age of 41. In the final year of her life she received Monday Morning MOJO every week and loved it. We shared thoughts back and forth via e-mail many times after I would send it. This is the MOJO I wrote after she passed away on my flight back home from her memorial service. I have made a commitment to send this out as a Monday Morning MOJO every year at this time as a tribute to Amy and her life. I think there are great thoughts in this MOJO that one can never hear too often.

I walked into my home on Saturday night from one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life.

Attending and presenting a reading at the funeral of my 41 year-old cousin, Amy.

Amy was beautiful, healthy and living the American dream. She had a storybook marriage and two beautiful daughters (12 and 14) when tragedy struck sixteen months ago.

In the words of her daughter, “It was a clear blue spring day – well, at least it was outside, because inside it was raining. We felt sadness and disbelief from the bad news. Not just regular bad news – but the kind where your life seems to fall apart in just two simple minutes. We listened closely to mother as she whispered, ‘Its cancer,’ and immediately feelings of shock, anger, and fear rushed through us all.”

Under her tears her daughter said faintly “Just never lose faith. Nobody knows what it’s like until it happens to them. And when it’s YOUR Mom how you view the world begins to change. You look at the mountains and now see their magnificence, just as seeing my Mom smile became everything to me. I started to appreciate life so much more. During those final months we would spend time gazing at the night sky, and I treasure everyday what she would say, ‘I love you more than all of the stars in the sky.’ Looking back at how it used to be, and how it would have been, and how it’s going to be without her by my side – truly it will never be the same.”

Her words I repeated over and over in my mind. It felt as though someone had shook me – forcing my eyes open to see the world for what it really it was. Forcing me to take a hard look at the ultimate truth, the truth that has the power to wake us up and make us live before it’s too late.

“Amy is gone,” the truth told me quietly, “and someday you will be, and so will all the people you love – it’s just a matter of time.”

So I ask you – are you doing what you want to do right now with your life, or are you putting off living your hopes and dreams because you think there will always be a tomorrow? If my cousin were here she’d tell you differently, she’d say “there will come a time when tomorrow doesn’t come, and you are wasting your time if you are not loving and laughing and enjoying your days now, while you can.”

This leaves us with a choice – we can delete this message because we find it too depressing, or we can let this message be a force that pushes us over the tipping point into the life we dream of. That is most often what it takes, something so strong it carries us past our fears and doubts and the terrors that come when we think about finally doing the things we’ve been dreaming about for so long.

Let Amy be your inspiration this morning. And realize she had a great life, doing the things she loved, with the people she loved – and she would want you to do the same.

I’ve heard it all; it’s just not possible, I’ve got obligations, responsibilities, and don’t forget the economy, and of course the - I can’t just DO what I want – I’ve got a job, bills, yada yada yada…

All those excuses mean nothing when your time comes, and who knows when that might be. All I know is the days are passing quickly and now is the time to do what YOU KNOW you need to do. Don’t put if off, or you may just be too late.

We will miss you Amy.

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: If only I was there a little earlier…

By Tom Tognoli | August 16th, 2010 0 Comments

I had to get my car serviced recently and I always make sure I get it dropped off first thing in the morning – typically by 7 or 7:30am – I want to beat the rush.  However, it was one of those crazy mornings and I couldn’t get there until close to 8am, and it was like I was dropping my car off in the middle of a blue light special.  When I drop my car off between 7 and 7:30, there is no one there. I zip in and out in a few minutes, but when I was there at 8am there was a line fifteen cars deep.  As I sat in my car anxiously for thirty minutes waiting for the next service representative to show up I chuckled to myself thinking this will be a great MOJO.

Simply it’s more crowded when you do what everyone else is doing. You’ll find the lines are longer, what you’re doing takes longer, there’s more demand for the same thing so you get less, it’s more stressful, you are not in control, and so on.

Isn’t that how everything in life is?  If we choose to follow the pack (and be normal) there’s less to go around because there are more people. When you push yourself to be slightly ahead of the pack, there typically is the same amount, or more, of what you want with a lot less people going for it.  So not only is it easier to get what you want, but it’s also stress free.

In observation of both types of people – I’ve found there is only a slight difference in the habits of the ‘normal’ and the ‘ahead of the masses’ personality. So often we think in order to get what we want in life we have to make a radical transformation. Yet in reality, just being slightly more disciplined and pushing-it a little more will put you ‘ahead of the masses’.

If I had dropped my car off at 7:30am, I would have been out of there and on my way five minutes later. Arriving only thirty minutes later, at 8am (with the normal crowd), what should have taken five minutes, took nearly an hour. By the time I finally got out of there it was 8:50am. Not only did it cost me more time, but for the rest of the day I was late and scrambling for my next appointment. The entire day I felt like I was behind the eight ball, it was exhausting.

Now here is the scary part. If you are one of those who are chronically late for everything – think about what you’re getting. Life’s leftovers – the stuff no one else wanted. So begin by being on time, and then focus on being a little early and being a little more disciplined. Being a little bit ahead of the crowd will get you way ahead in the end.

Think about the people who may have what you want in your life. They may have a lot more, but do they really do that much more than you?  Usually not, usually they simply know how to stay slightly ahead of the masses.

Life is crowded and tough in the middle. Life sucks in the bottom 25%, and is magical in the top 25%. Commit to being in the top 25%!

Make it a powerful and successful week!

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: Dog Bone…Live Wire…Gypsy

By Tom Tognoli | August 9th, 2010 0 Comments

After putting on full body armor and getting on a bike that resembles something from a Sci-Fi movie, they put you and your bike on a chairlift that brings you to the top of one of the highest mountains in Tahoe. You get off the chairlift, strap on a full face helmet and start down the mountain on runs with names like Dog Bone, Live Wire, Gypsy, etc.

My 13 year old son takes off attacking the mountain, racing down the trail, flying through the air, and going over boulders and around turns like they don’t even exist. He is FEARLESS and does it EFFORTLESSLY. As I try to keep up with him going down the mountain I am everything but fearless and effortless. As I squeeze the hand grips like I am trying to strangle them, the only thing going through my head is my mortality. “Just don’t crash.” With the exception of a few sore muscles and minor crashes, I am happy to say I experienced no major wipe outs or broken bones. Funny thing is my son never crashed once. I don’t think he even came close.

So what is the lesson of this extreme sport? Attack whatever you do with Passion, Fearlessly and Effortlessly. If you do, you will do better, go faster, suffer fewer setbacks and reach your full potential.

When we are young our lives are all about growing and going for it. It is all about new unfamiliar experiences. Every day you wake up as a kid you are being pushed and encouraged by your parents and teachers to go for it. However, at some point in life, society puts the brakes on all of this growing and going for it. It plants the “play it safe, don’t go for it, what if you can’t” in our brains. All too often as we get older we let our fears and caution hold us back from CRUSHING IT! Unlike a kid we get too worried about what happens if things don’t work out instead of focusing on what will happen if they do. So if we hold back and worry about what will happen if things don’t work out, we will experience major wipe outs and broken bones. On the other hand if we attack with fearlessness and do it effortlessly, we will fly and CRUSH IT!

So how do we do go back to having the mindset of a kid? How do we go back to being FEARLESS? Make sure we are spending more time with kids and with people who go against the status quo. Spend time with risk takers, people that go for it and attack life. Remember we are all the average of the people we spend the majority of our time with. Be aware of who you are spending your time with.

Make it a great week as you attack the Dog Bone, Live Wire and Gypsy of your life.

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: The Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret…Your Choice

By Tom Tognoli | August 2nd, 2010 0 Comments

“I have watched The Secret DVD at least 50 times.”
“I listen to self-improvement CD’s and read self-improvement books everyday.”
“I have been focusing on what I want and have a great attitude.”
“I read your MOJO every week.”
“I am a believer, but it just does not seem to be working…I am still stuck in that same old rut!”

I tend to hear this over and over again, and what everyone is doing is extremely important to getting what you want in life, but you may be missing a few very important components. First and foremost, YOU NEED TO BE INCREDIBLY DISCIPLINED AND WORK YOUR BUTT OFF!

Getting what you want in life is a lot like being healthy and physically fit.  Being healthy and physically fit is not complicated, is it?  All you have to do is eat right and exercise on a regular basis. Simple enough…right?  Then why is half of our society obese, unhealthy and out of shape? Why is it our country’s number one killer? Because although it is not complicated, it is hard work and requires a lot of self discipline.  So once again, YOU NEED TO BE INCREDIBLY DISCIPLINED AND WORK YOUR BUTT OFF!

Another major factor which stops us from getting what we want is not being able to let go of what we already have – including those bad habits or lack of good habits.  It’s letting go of all those bad routines, habits, foods, TV, and in some cases people you are currently spending time with.  After you have made the decision to let go – YOU NEED TO BE INCREDIBLY DISCIPLINED AND WORK YOUR BUTT OFF to not give in and go back to the same old bad habits! Because getting what you want is as much about letting go of the old as it is about letting in the new.

I hear people talk about how they do affirmations, build dream boards, meditate – but then their day-to-day actions do not reflect their affirmations.  I can’t tell you enough how important it is to be INCREDIBLY DISCIPLINED AND WORK YOUR BUTT OFF.  Today’s society dumps so much negativity into our world every day it’s tough not to just give in. It is on our television, in newspapers, in magazines, exudes from our associates at work, our friends, and unfortunately in many cases in our families.

So, take a personal inventory of those things and people in your life you need to change, and change them! Then BE INCREDIBLY DISCIPLINED AND WORK YOUR BUTT OFF with a good attitude while keeping focused on what you want.

BANG!!!  Now you are on you way.

This is not something you can dip your toe in and try – you have to dive in head first and go for it like your life depends on it. Because it does!

It is your choice, live with the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.  It’s a pretty easy choice, but very difficult to do.

GO BIG!

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: Don’t do more…do different

By Tom Tognoli | July 26th, 2010 0 Comments

Have you ever noticed when some people try and make a change in their business, their health, their relationships, in their life they think the way to make it happen is just simply spending more time working on “it”.  Not just a little more, but piling it on.  They actually think running around like a chicken with your head cut off is actually going to accomplish something.  Yeah right! I’m not going to say we may not need to work harder and be more discipline, but I think it’s more about working on our priorities and our efficiency as opposed to working on the volume and amount of time.

Don’t do more…do different.  Well, maybe some of us need to do more. I do see a lot of people who “show up” but are not engaged in what they are doing.  You know what I am talking about, the ones who stand around the water cooler all day criticizing everyone like they are the authority instead of looking in the mirror. They show up in body, but not in mind and action.  It’s like their whole life is spent on the practice range but they never tee it up on the first tee.  You do have to GO FOR “IT” or “IT” won’t happen. Don’t mistake showing up for work, for working – a lot of people show up, but don’t do anything towards accomplishing their goals.  This is a great question to consider: Using work for an example – if you owned your company, would you pay yourself what you want to make for what you do everyday?  Be honest.

If what you’re doing now is not getting you what you want, doing more of what you are currently doing is still not going to get you what you want. It’s just going to make you more frustrated. You have to do different – or in some cases you just have to do something. It’s about simplifying, being consistent and actually doing it – not just thinking about it and planning on how to do it, but actually DOING IT. Create rituals and systems that are easily duplicated for the long haul.  Because it is the accumulation effect of the small things over a long period of time which are going to make the biggest impact and are going to be something you will be able to maintain for a long period of time.

Here are 2 great books I would recommend reading if you are struggling to have that breakthrough:

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: Quantum Leap

By Tom Tognoli | July 19th, 2010 0 Comments

Is what you are doing today building on what you did yesterday or are you starting from scratch…again? So often we jump from one thing to another, but never get any significant results – never getting ahead. Why? Because we are spreading ourselves too thin.

Success in achieving almost anything in life is not going to be the result of jumping from one thing to another. It is going to be the compounded result of doing only the most important activities over and over again and by taking on fewer activities more frequently. If we do those few, most important activities consistently over and over again, at some point we reach the tipping point and we will explode into a quantum leap. It’s all about K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid. Getting what we want in life is not complicated, but it is difficult. It involves doing the important activities, not the urgent ones. The difficult part is being disciplined enough to do those important, not the urgent activities consistently and doing them over and over again until we have a breakthrough.

Why is it so hard? Because we have to do it over and over for long periods of time with what appears to be little or no results. But if we have the discipline to stick with it, all of a sudden, one day we will have a radical breakthrough. The hard part is not to quit when we feel like we are running into a brick wall with no results; the hard part is not quitting when we are having a breakdown. Because when the wall comes down, it won’t come down one brick at a time, but the accumulation affect of hitting it over and over again will bring it tumbling down all at once. It will happen when we are exhausted and beyond wanting to quit. We will hit it again and BANG!!!!

Consider this: Let’s pretend that each individual activity we do in life is represented by one piece of paper. Stacked up on top of each other, a stack of 50 pieces of paper will only be ¼ of an inch high. Unfortunately, the quantum leap never happens. Why? Because there is not accumulation affect, no compounding. Now imagine instead that we only have one huge piece of paper and we fold the piece of paper in half 50 times. This represents our most important activities we do over and over again. If we were to fold a piece of paper 50 times (if this were physically possible, which of course it is not) the paper will be high enough to almost reach the sun! Now that’s a quantum leap!

Do the important, not the urgent activities and make it a great week!

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: You Are Who You Hang With

By Tom Tognoli | July 12th, 2010 0 Comments

Do you ever notice that people who are negative, down and have low energy tend see the negative in everything no matter what? They see the glass half empty. While those who are positive, upbeat and fired up about life see the positive in almost everything. They see the glass half full.  If you had to take a guess, which group do you think is right – the positive ones or the negative ones? The answer is both.

They are both right, because you get what you focus on and you attract people into your life who are like you. So the good news is, if you are positive, upbeat and fired up – you attract positive, upbeat and fired up people into your life. The more positive people you attract into your life the better your life gets. Actually it gets better exponentially! The downside is if you are negative, down and have low energy, you attract negative, down and low energy people into your life. The more negative people you attract into your life, the worse your life gets. And yes, it gets worse exponentially.

For a minute, just think about some of the people you know. Not necessarily those who are your best friends, but just acquaintances. What are the common characteristics of the positive ones and what are the common characteristics of the negative ones? What energy do they give off? Do they smile or frown? Do they laugh or do they yell? Do they fire you up when you see them or suck the energy from you? Do they complement or do they criticize?

Have you noticed that we don’t see the positive people and the negative people spending much time together, except when absolutely necessary? Why is that? Because the positive people naturally spend time with optimists and find ways to improve their lives. While the negative people seem to always spend time with the basket-cases and seem to always be looking for ways to sabotage their life – not intentionally, but subconsciously. The positive people tend to do things good for their physical, mental and spiritual body, while the negative tend to do bad things for their physical, mental, and spiritual body.

So, how do we get out of the funk and into the fired up?

One of the most important things we need to do is stop spending time with other people in a funk and start spending time with people who are fired up. Or if you are fired up, find other fired up people to spend time with. Better yet, find people more fired up than you to spend time with.

Both groups are like magnets and either we are going to get sucked down into a hole with the “my life sucks” group, or we are going get pulled up into the clouds with the “my life is on fire and awesome” group. You can’t beat it, because it is like any fight. No matter how tough you are, if you are out numbered you are going to lose. If you are trying to be positive but hang out with negative people, you are going to get your ass kicked. The good new is if your negative, but hang out with positive people, you are also going to get your ass kicked.

Remember, everything in life is contagious. Choose to hang with people who have the fired up plague and catch it!

Make it a GREAT week!

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: Focus on the positive

By Tom Tognoli | July 5th, 2010 0 Comments

Why is it that the nightly news is always negative? Why is it that your morning paper, if you are one of the few who still get one, is always negative – especially the headlines? The reason is because that’s what people want to see, read, and hear about. So, why in the world do people want to read and hear about doom and gloom? Why is it that people are intrigued by the bad news? The media doesn’t do it just because they feel like it; they do it because bad news sells. One big reason it sells is because the bad stuff supports people not having to make a decision. It supports people’s “I don’t want to change” mindset. It gives people the excuses they are looking for to stick with the status quo, to not take risks, to not take chances, to not go for it! No wonder people are stuck. When there is risk and we focus on the bad news it supports us saying things like: “I am going to wait until things get better.” “It is just too risky given the current environment.” “Haven’t you been reading the headlines?” ”Didn’t you hear about what just happened to ____?” “I am not going to do it and let that happen to me.” “I am going to sit here and wait for it to get better”.

If we could only find a way to be optimistic and focus on the good news, our lives would ignite. Good news forces us to take action, to take advantage of the opportunities and it encourages us take some risks. Think about your life and some of the things you want to accomplish. What is stopping you – the bad news? If it is, it’s because the bad news supports your internal instinct to play it safe, right?  While focusing on the good news forces you to take a hard look at yourself and ask yourself “what the hell am I waiting for?” Good news makes you optimistic and pushes you to go for it.

Try this for a while, for at least a week, but preferably a month or more. Don’t read the headlines, don’t watch the negative crap on the news, don’t read the headlines of Yahoo, don’t pay attention to the bad news. ONLY FOCUS ON THE GOOD NEWS. Start reading a good book on keys to success, listen to a good CD on success or on personal and professional growth and development, watch a good movie. Watch what will happen to your attitude and to your life. You will be amazed how much more positive your mindset and attitude will become. You will be amazed at how you will start taking advantage of those opportunities instead of hiding behind the bad news.

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

Monday Mojo: Are you a marathon runner or are you a sprinter?

By Tom Tognoli | June 28th, 2010 0 Comments

Before we can get to work on accomplishing anything significant in business or life, we need to figure this one out. Then set up our plan accordingly.

For example, I personally have two speeds – HIGH and off. I am a sprinter. There are many others who are marathon runners. They never really get up to full speed, but they never really totally shut it down either. We are all different and both speeds can work, but if you are a marathon runner and try to set up your plan to be like me, you are not going to get anything accomplished and you are going to be frustrated. On the other hand, if you are a sprinter and think you will be able to keep up the pace without resting you are going to crash and burn.

Now, before you go putting together your plan, most people tend to like the idea of being a sprinter, because they like the rest idea.  Don’t kid yourself when you put together your plan. Be honest with yourself. Perhaps ask those closest to you which one they think you are. The biggest mistake I see most people making is living their life like a sprinter, but really being a marathon runner…BIG MISTAKE! Now, if you want to switch the metaphorical event you compete in (sprints or marathons), you can, but you need to make sure you are training accordingly. We all can change as long as we want it bad enough and are willing to put in the work to accomplish it.

So, when you are putting your plan together at whatever it is in life, ask yourself that question: “Am I a sprinter or am I a marathon runner”.  Then build your plan, your schedule and your life accordingly…then CRUSH IT!!!

  • Get new posts via email
  • Subscribe
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Monday Morning Mojo

« Older Entries