Monday Morning Mojo

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Morning Mojo: Get Comfortable with Change

By Tom Tognoli | November 28th, 2011 0 Comments

Does any of this sound familiar?

“…sounds like a great idea, I will get started tomorrow.” Yeah right…like that is really going to happen…just like the last thousand times he said “I will start tomorrow.”

“Wow, I can see how that will have a hugely positive impact on my life, but I just don’t have time to deal with making the necessary changes right now…I will try and implement that next month when things settle down.” We all know things never “settle down.”

“Why is it that no matter what I seem to do…not matter how much I work or how hard I try, I can never get ahead in my F5 (Faith, Family, Friends Fitness, Finance)? I am trying hard every day, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day.”

Here is the first thing we all need to get real clear on…no matter how hard we try, if we continue to do what we have always done, we will continue to get what we have always gotten. So, to get more of what we want in our lives, the key is not doing more of what we are currently doing harder, but doing different…changing the way we look at things….the way we do things. Sounds easy…right? NOT!!!!

Getting comfortable with change does not happen overnight…it is something we need to train ourselves to get comfortable with. Most of the things we do in our life and our thoughts are a routine that have been engrained in us over YEARS. So, we plow on, mindlessly doing the same old things in the same old way. Whether these routines or thoughts are good or bad, like a drop of water which continuously hits on a rock, our habits create a hole or a rut. And the longer the drop of our habits hit the rock, the deeper the hole. Over time as that hole gets deeper and deeper, the harder it is to get out of the rut when we want to make a change.

So, why haven’t we forced ourselves out of the rut before now? Most of the time we don’t change because we are afraid…it makes us uncomfortable…makes us feel exposed…or we are just plain lazy. And the older we get the harder it is to make changes because we tend to become less and less flexible. And because we have been doing things one way for such a long time, the hole in the rock becomes the size of the Grand Canyon. So, the key is to train ourselves to get comfortable with change…someone who actually embraces change…someone who actually gets a rush from being innovative and doing it different.

Start challenging your routines. Stop running into the brick wall. Pause…Think. Find a new way that goes around the wall, or maybe over it. Rest assured, the new way is there. It does exist. Changing your habits can itself become common place. The first time you defy “your way” and climb out of your rut it nearly kills you…the second time, it’s real tough…the third time, it’s merely hard. And eventually, it becomes, if not easy, then reasonably comfortable. Your confidence grows, and the tyrant loses a large part of its hold on you. Then, the magic of having a life that is unbelievable pure magic starts to unfold!!!

Make it a powerful week!!!!!

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Morning Mojo: Challenge + Crisis + Pain = OPPORTUNITY

By Tom Tognoli | November 21st, 2011 0 Comments

Why does life throw challenges and crisis at us, like the crisis we have all been dealing with for the last year?

Because that is the only way we will change. It is the only way we will rid ourselves of evil, bad habits, greed, ego and the wrong priorities. It’s human nature wanting to stay the course, not to rock the boat, and usually the only way we will change is if we are forced into it by some outside influence, i.e. financial crisis, death, illness, catastrophe. We have to look at the challenges of the last few years as an opportunity and as a way to re-prioritize what is important.

What has happened with most people these last few years is they are focused; no they are consumed, by what has been taken away and not focused on being thankful for what they have and the opportunities of tomorrow. Step back for a moment – the reason things get taken away, the reason life throws us challenges and crisis is because it is the only way we will wake up and quit overlooking those things which are really most important in life – our F5 (Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness and Finance). Challenge and crisis gets thrown at us because it is the only thing that will slap us in the face hard enough to get our attention. Think back in your life to a time of crisis – yes you may have lost something or someone. There may have been a scare in your life of some kind, and with that crisis a door opened. A new person appeared when you looked in the mirror, usually a better person, a more thankful person, a more humble person, a more caring person, and a person with better priorities.

In every crisis and in every challenge there is an opportunity. We just have to find it.  But, until we let go of the pain and anger of what we have lost, and focus on all that we have which is really most important, the agony will not stop. And, once we do focus on what we have, life will be even better than it was before. This week and beyond, make a commitment EVERYDAY to give thanks and be grateful for everything and everyone you have in your life. Quit being consumed by what you have lost, or the pain will not stop and you will not be able to move forward towards accomplishing greatness. If you can do this, not only will the pain stop, but life will be better and you will be more at peace than ever before.

Remember, life is about who we become and how we grow when faced with challenge, with crisis, and with pain. It is what life is all about. It is why we are here.  So step back and look in the mirror, who are you becoming?

This week is Thanksgiving – be thankful and be grateful for all we have in our lives. The rest is just “stuff.”

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Morning Mojo: My life is in a rut!!!!

By Tom Tognoli | November 7th, 2011 0 Comments

“I’m stuck in a rut…I’m just not happy with where I am in my life.”

We can feel this way about our health, our relationships, and our job. We can feel like we are stuck in a rut, good or bad, about anything in life.

So, how do we get out of the bad ruts?

The bad news is it takes a lot of work to get out of them. The good news is when we are in good ruts it’s also hard to get out of them. I call them the ruts of life.

Look at all the equities of your life – your F5 (Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness and Finance). What kind of ruts are you stuck in – good or bad? Often our ruts can include being happy or sad, inspired or uninspired, purpose driven or purposeless, healthy or unhealthy, motivated or unmotivated, in good relationships or bad relationships. I think anyone who answers how are you with “I’m okay” or ”I’m fine” is in a bad rut and in denial. They just don’t know it and/or don’t want to admit it.

In life we can’t live between the ruts, it’s just too hard, it’s like trying to balance on a tight rope for our entire life – eventually we get tired and fall to one side. Unfortunately if we don’t make a conscious decision typically we’ll fall into a bad rut. So, we have to accept the fact we are going to get stuck in one of the two ruts – good or bad. In the book The Purpose Driven Life it says, “Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make.  Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way they will define you.”

Let’s make the commitment today to scrape and claw our way out of the bad ruts. Once we’re out, just roll over and fall into the good rut.  There will be short-term pain with getting out, but it will pass and then you will experience the long-term gain of living life in the good ruts.

Get stuck in the good ruts and make it a GREAT week!!!!

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Morning Mojo: Everything expands to meet the resources available

By Tom Tognoli | October 31st, 2011 0 Comments

MONEY…WORK…HEALTH…YOUR WEIGHT…LIFE – everything expands to meet the resources available. Have you ever noticed how that works?

  1. It’s the day before you go on vacation. How is it you can get all that stuff done you haven’t been able to get done for months, the day before you leave on vacation? Because we have a deadline.
  2. It’s April 15th and you get your taxes done just in time. How is it we can get our taxes done and dropped off at the Post Office the evening of April 15th, but could never seem to find the time the three and a half months before. Because we have a deadline.
  3. You ever notice when you go on a diet and lose all that weight you can’t seem to keep it off. Next time try burning all of your old clothes so you can’t expand back into them. Because if you have clothes that will fit when you put back on the weight, guess what? You will. Remove the option or at least make it expensive if you do.
  4. Have you ever noticed that no matter how much money you make it never seems to be enough? It’s because your expenses are expanding to meet your income. Watch out for this one…it is a killer!!!
  5. Why is it at the end of a football game with only 2 minutes left a team can score, but they had not been able to score the entire game before the final 2 minutes? The deadline is 2 minutes away and either they win or lose…they have no options.

When we have deadlines we are forced into action – no more procrastination – you just do it because you have to. Somehow we need to figure out a way to create our own self imposed deadlines, get ahead in the game early and not wait until the last 2 minutes.

Isn’t it funny, that no matter where we are in life, we always feel like we don’t have enough time? In high school…in college…starting our career…after we get married…after we have kids. Not only can we seem to get more and more done at each stage in life, but when we reflect back, we wonder what we did with all that free time we had in the previous stage of our life. It’s just because the amount of time it takes to do things will expand or reduce to meet the amount of time you give it.

Operate from a schedule and create mini deadlines on everything and then let someone you know, who will hold you to it, about the deadline. It is called accountability – that other word we all hate. For most it is almost like the word death. But the reality of it is, if you want to have freedom and success you need to have accountability and discipline.  Sorry about that.

Make it a GREAT week!

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Morning Mojo: Keep Your Cool

By Tom Tognoli | October 24th, 2011 0 Comments

No response. Complaints. Bad attitude. Someone or something gets you mad or upset. They break their promise, they don’t do their job, they drop the ball, they say something offensive or confrontational, or they challenge you. You feel attacked and disrespected. The natural instinct is to strike back…to fight. You rant, rave and yell about that person to anyone willing to listen. You put up the cold shoulder and some attitude. “Who the hell do they think they are anyway…I am going to teach them…”

Does this sound familiar? It is the way most people deal with conflict. I am here to tell you that flying off the handle does not make any situation better. It only makes things worse. The only one you end up hurting when you let your emotions get the better of you is…you.

I am not saying that you should ignore issues and conflict. I am saying that you should evaluate the way you are going to address issues and conflict, before you address them. Those of you who know me have probably never seen me mad, upset or lose my cool…at least not on the outside. It’s not that I don’t have bad days and sometimes things don’t go my way. It is not that I don’t get frustrated or rattled. I do. I have simply made the conscious decision to deal with life and conflict in a calm, controlled and calculated manner. I have discovered that people who remain in control and keep their emotions in check, when everyone and everything around them is out of control, typically come out ahead. They don’t waste their energy on other people’s drama. The interesting thing is, a calm response to the conflict will eventually calm the other person, so you can move on to a constructive conversation because you did not fuel the fire.

I know it is not easy, but my challenge to you is to not get sucked into other people’s drama. Keep calm, cool and collected. Do this and I promise you will not only win the battles, but you will win the war of life and business.

Chill!

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Morning Mojo: Cook it in a crock pot

By Tom Tognoli | October 17th, 2011 0 Comments

We see people do it in all aspects of their life and work, only to wonder why they are struggling. They live and work a binge-purge life. We are an instant gratification society so we want quick fixes and quick rewards. We want to cook life in a microwave…now, now, now. The reality of it is that life needs to be cooked in a crock pot…slow and steady. Trust me, I know firsthand. For those of you who know me, you know I am fanatical about results and getting stuff done not now, but yesterday. I definitely have an element of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). This is something I work and struggle with every day.

Let’s use diet for an example because I know this is something most of us can relate too. Someone eats like crap for months or years only to be fed up with what they see in the mirror, or get scared to death when they hear what their doctor has to say about their health. So, they decide they are going to make a radical change and do it now. So what do most people do? They virtually stop eating and start exercising like crazy and lose a whole bunch of weight…great!! Unfortunately they did not create eating habits and a life style which could last.

So, what ends up happening to most people? They burn out after a period of time and not only gain the weight back, but put on even a few more pounds than they started with. Sound familiar? Then the vicious cycle starts again a few months or years later…Purge-Binge-Purge-Binge-Purge-Binge-Purge-Binge-DEAD. Now, that is no way to live a life. When someone is ready to make a change like this, whether it be our weight or in any area of our F-5 (Faith – Family – Friends – Fitness – Finance), we need to make decisions and make commitments we can keep not just for a week, or a month or a year. We need to make commitments we can keep for a lifetime.

  • You can’t NOT go to church for years and then go 7 days a week for 3 months only to burn out. What can you commit to for a lifetime? Figure out a crock pot Faith Plan.
  • You can’t be a workaholic and never spend any time with your family and friends for years and then spend every moment with them. Figure out a crock pot family and friends plan.
  • You can’t eat like a pig and never exercise for years and then only drink water and work out 2 hours a day, 7 days a week. Figure out a crock pot fitness plan.
  • You can’t spend every penny you make, and then some, for years and then save every penny you make and never do anything or spend anything. Figure out a crock pot financial plan

The crock pot method rules…cook it up!!!

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Morning Mojo: Success has to be an obsession

By Tom Tognoli | October 10th, 2011 0 Comments

How bad do you want it?

Success…how bad do you really want it?

So many of us say we want to be successful, but we really don’t want it bad enough and that is why we don’t have it. We only kind of want success. We don’t want it as bad as we want to be cool. We don’t want it as bad as we want sleep. We don’t want it as bad as we want to hang with our friends. We don’t want it as bad as we want to play grab ass. Heck, we don’t want it as bad as we want to watch TV.

And that is why we struggle. You have to want it so bad that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get it. Because until you get to the point where all you want to do is be successful and nothing else matters, success will elude you. It has to be an obsession.

Check out this video. Turn it up and listen to the words. Make sure you show this to your friends, your family, your kids and your grandkids. Help them to understand what it takes and the sacrifices required to be successful. Once you have helped them to understand, then you will understand.

http://vimeo.com/27933991

We have to want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe!!!

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Morning Mojo: Choke

By Tom Tognoli | October 3rd, 2011 0 Comments

This past week the Boston Red Sox probably had the biggest “CHOKE” in sports history.

At the beginning of September they were so far ahead in the standings that they were basically guaranteed a spot in the MLB post season. It was almost mathematically impossible they would not make it. They were so far ahead at the beginning of September that researchers gave them a 99.6% chance at making the playoffs…99.6% chance!

So, what happened? When Red Sox player David Ortiz was asked what happened he said, “I don’t even know how to explain it.”

Researchers know what happened. There is a highly scientific term for it – it is called CHOKING.

So, what is choking? It is when you exhibit a worst performance than you have exhibited in the past precisely because there is a lot on the line. Not much different than choking on that final exam or choking on that big interview or presentation.

So why do people and teams like the Boston Red Sox CHOKE. There are two main reasons:

  1. Paralysis by Analysis – We start paying a lot of attention to habits or behaviors that should just run off on auto pilot. That unhittable pitch you have thrown a million times, it’s now a meatball right over the center of the plate. You are just trying too hard and not just letting it rip.
  2. Memory Failure – This is not forgetting things. It is more about remembering the wrong things; it is remembering the negative things. In the case of the Boston Red Sox it is confirming this idea that you are not ready to play or going to be able to compete in the playoffs. You are not going to succeed. In baseball or anything in life, losing begets losing. For the Boston Red Sox there was a month of failure brewing in their heads. Loss after loss and with each loss more doubt crept into their minds. And they were reminded of it constantly by their fans booing and holding up signs saying things like “Help Me!!!! I’m CHOKING!” Talk about a negative affirmation. There have been studies that have shown when you tell kids they are not good at math they do worse on tests. Same thing applies in baseball or really anything in life.

So, what is the solution to not choking in baseball and life?

  • Don’t just practice, but practice under fire. That is why our military does live fire training, not with blanks.
  • Remember the good moments and forget the bad ones.
  • Breath.
  • Have fun.
  • Focus on what you want to happen, not what you don’t want to happen.
  • Don’t be resentful.
  • Don’t look at the glass half empty, look at the glass half full.
  • Spend time with positive people and steer clear of negative ones.
  • Spend more time with people who have what you want in your F5.

No choking allowed…CRUSH IT!!!!

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Morning Mojo: Be 110% Committed

By Tom Tognoli | September 26th, 2011 0 Comments

If you have ever played a contact sport in your life like football or rugby, you know that a sure fired way to get hurt is by not playing full out. Not going 110%. Not being 110% engaged. In contact sports you are either doing the hitting or you’re getting hit. It is pretty much that simple.

It is really the same thing with most everything in life with the exception being that you can usually at least walk off the field in most other things in life, unlike in contact football or rugby where they cart you off on a stretcher. That is the good thing and the bad thing. The good thing is we can go through the motions giving it a half hearted effort and not really get hurt. Unfortunately we don’t really get anywhere because the pain of not being 110% committed and focused is most of the time not immediately felt. It builds up over time and we get mortally injured slowly and don’t even realize it is happening until it is too late.

Most people just want to dip their toes in the water with things in life when what we really need to do is dive in! You see it every day – people showing up but not going full out. It will be the difference between winning and losing. The good thing is most people go through life only playing half speed. So if you go 110% you will not only score, but you will CRUSH IT and win!!

Week three of the NFL season is in the books, so do like they do in the pro’s with everything you do in life…drop the hammer and go 110%.

Score!!!!

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Morning Mojo: Never Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Do Today

By Tom Tognoli | September 19th, 2011 0 Comments

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today…

I never really understood the value in that advice until the day I met John.

It was an early Saturday morning in October, and I was driving to a charity golf event up in Northern California. I was really looking forward to playing in this event, and I was even more excited because in order to get there, I’d be driving along one of my favorite stretches of asphalt in El Dorado County, called Latrobe Road. It’s a ten-mile drive that connects Highway 16 with Highway 50, and if you can imagine someone scribbling on a map with a crayon, that’s what Latrobe Road kinda looks like.

As I turned onto Latrobe, I floored it like a NASCAR driver getting the green flag! If you’ve ever had the experience of driving a sports car down a two-lane country road, then you know what I’m talking about. I had the wind in my hair, the gas pedal down, the music cranked up, and all I was thinking was “THIS IS MY DAY!”

But in a moment, everything changed.

As I rounded a blind corner, I came upon a man frantically waving his arms in an attempt to slow me down. (Talk about raining on your parade!) But what I hadn’t realized is that this guy was the driver of an SUV that had just been in a head-on accident with a motorcycle, and I was one of the first people on the scene.

For a moment, my mind was saying, “GO… JUST GO!” “Let someone else deal with it!”

But something inside me said, “STOP!”

So I pulled over, dialed 9-1-1, and simultaneously jumped out of my car to see how I could help.

The scene wasn’t pretty.

The motorcyclist was face down in the middle of the road, and there was twisted metal and debris everywhere. The impact from the collision had caused the rider’s helmet to come off, and his injuries were severe.

As I knelt down to try to revive him, I witnessed what I believed to be his last breath.

The 9-1-1 operator instructed me to turn him over and administer CPR. By this time, a couple more people had arrived and offered to help. As we gently turned him over onto his back, the hopelessness of the situation became very apparent.

Sadly, our efforts to revive him were futile, and as the paramedics showed up and took over, all that was left to do was to cover his lifeless body with one of those familiar yellow tarps.

I found out later, his name was John. He was a husband, a father, and by all accounts, he was a really good guy.

And he was my age.

That got me thinking about my own mortality. And I’m pretty sure that John did not leave his house that day thinking, “today is my last day.”

But what if today was your last day?

What have you been putting off until tomorrow?

I decided, in that very moment, that I would no longer put off until tomorrow what I can do today. I decided to begin taking the advice of my coach and mentor, Les Brown, who encourages us to, “Live full, die empty.”

This life is not a dress rehearsal, my friends. We only get one shot.

Please repeat these words out loud: “No more excuses! Today is MY day!”

Thank you for the opportunity to share these thoughts with you, and make today great.

J. Shoop – Contributing writer
www.coachshoop.com

For more information on how to connect with J., send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.

**********
This week, I’m pleased to bring to you some “guest MOJO,” from our very own J. Shoop.

Many of you know of J. Shoop as one of our top producing Area Sales Managers for Western Bancorp, but you may not know that he is also an author, coach, and aspiring professional speaker. He recently released his first co-authoring project and we’re happy to have him as part of our team!

We welcome J’s insights for this week’s installment of Monday Morning MOJO!

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