Archive for the ‘Positive attitude’ Category

Thoughts on Leadership: Fathers as Leaders

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This Father’s Day, my daughter Alex made me a card (pictured below) titled “What My Dad Taught Me…” She mentioned the things she learned from me – everything from learning to ride a bike to the virtues she lives by every day. I decided to share the life lessons she learned from me, what I learned from my own dad, and the thoughts of several close friends of mine on what their fathers taught them. Enjoy the fatherly wisdom!


“My dad taught me patience, the power of positive thinking, and a love for pleasing people. Never in my life have I met someone who works so hard for the people he loves.”

-Alex Blefari

“Being a WWII veteran, my dad taught me to have a respect for all life. He also taught me how having a positive attitude impacts everyone, to do the right thing, and to always try my hardest. “

-Gino Blefari
Founder, President and CEO Intero Real Estate Services

“My dad taught me compassion – to treat everybody well, put yourself in their shoes and put their needs above your own.”

-Bob Moles
Founder and Chairman Intero Real Estate Services

“My dad taught me to never shake a family member’s hand; always hug them and kiss them and tell them how much you love them every time you see them.”

-Tom Tognoli
Founder and Chief Operating Officer Intero Real Estate Services

“Some of the things I learned from Dad were: how to love your wife; respect, generosity, and consideration of others; how a hard days work never hurt anybody; the importance of keeping your emotions between the lines- the highs and lows both don’t last long (or forever), along these lines things are usually never as bad…or good…as they may seem; and the final thing he showed me how to do perfectly…how to hit a lazy fade.”

-John Thompson
Founder and Executive Vice President Intero Real Estate Services

“My dad was a great salesman. He always said, ‘There are more nuts than there are squirrels to eat them. It’s a numbers game…play the game!’”

-Mike Ferry
Real Estate Coach, Founder Mike Ferry Organization

“My father never made me feel like I had any limitations. This was huge for my confidence. What he did was give me an inner confidence that most people trip on when they are stretching for their goals. He also taught me that there is always room for laughter.”

-Kathie Kingston
VP and Managing Officer Intero Gilroy

“My father is from the old school and I firmly believe his basic principle applies in today’s business plan: ‘Your word is your bond.’ If you don’t hold true to your word, you have no worth in business.”

-Robert Doucet
VP and Managing Officer Intero Willow Glen

“Protection, discipline, love and of course, ‘Please don’t tell mom,’ are words and phrases that describe my thoughts about my dad!”

-Renee Kunz
VP and Managing Officer Intero Hollister

“Some great lessons from my father include: it’s not about how much money you make but how happy you are doing it; care more about others, listen with your heart and talk with honesty; you’re measured by your sacrifices and loyalty in life; always be on time; be committed and follow through!”

-Albert Garibaldi
Intero Chairman’s Circle, Top 1%

“I think the most important lesson I have learned from my dad is to keep your nose clean and always do the right thing – this way, you won’t have to remember what you did. He says to this day that you only have your word and your name so don’t sacrifice either for anything.”

-Karen Nelsen
Intero Chairman’s Circle, Top 1%

“One thing I clearly learned from my Dad was a strong work ethic!  ‘Success does not come easy.’ And thankfully, I also inherited his excellent sense of direction!”

-Greg Simpson
Intero Chairman’s Circle, Top 1%

“My dad taught me to read the book (in other words…always know the instructions on what you’re doing); he told me to learn the computer (before email existed), and he told me to remember there will always be another ‘deal’.”

-Ivan Margaretich
Intero Executive’s Circle, Top 10%

I hope you’ll find in this exercise that you don’t always need to look to famous business and political leaders for guidance on leadership. Sometimes, you get the best insight right from your own dad.



The benefits of being an Intero agent

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Just recently I went to a seminar – a Mike Ferry Seminar.  I don’t usually attend seminars, it’s just not my thing.

Gino encouraged me to go and I thought – it can’t hurt.

My first day of the seminar the room was full of people, something like 4200 attendees. And wouldn’t you know it Gino had arranged for Intero to have front row seats reserved with our names on them.

So where everyone else had to stand in very long lines to get whatever seat was left in the room. We had the front row. Nice!!

Everywhere I went, people would say “Are you with that group that sits up front? You sure are lucky.”

We had bracelets to let us into the class every day.  I put mine on loose because it was a nuisance. On the second day, I lost it.

I thought, no problem they will just give me another and marched right up to customer service. They said “Sorry we just can’t help you, the cost for an additional bracelet will be $250.”  I turned around and just figured it’s time go home. Oh well.

I texted Gino and he came out of the seminar and went directly to Matt Ferry. Matt turned around to customer service and said “this is one of Gino’s people – you can give her another bracelet.”

So I was able to get in and attend the rest of the awesome seminar.

Thank you Gino – I am glad to be one of your “People.”


Wednesday Wellness: Putting the Monkey Chatter on MUTE

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Often I wait until the “night of” to write my Wednesday Wellness.  I do this because I trust that certain topics of inspiration will come my way in the week’s unfolding so that I can share with you what I’ve learned and who I’ve been inspired by.

The last 3 days did just this for me.

Have you ever heard of the term monkey chatter?  It’s the noise in our heads which talk to us over and over telling us what we can’t do, why we can’t do it and how disabled we are at something we believe we can never achieve.  It’s the “I’ll never be good enough” mantra.  And you know what, it works amazingly well!

Saturday, I had the opportunity to ride with an exceptional group of riders on a 65 mile road race (we like to call them “rides”) through the Gilroy foothills (side note, if you’ve never explored the Gilroy foothills…it’s a must do). The riders were of all shapes, ages, sizes and experience.

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to attend a yoga workshop about posture and alignment, again with men and women ranging in age, experience, motivation and flexibility.

On Monday, I had the incredible opportunity to listen to Mark Allen, six-time Ironman victor.

In each of these events, the concept of how our thoughts project our outcome (positive or negative) was the main theme of the day.

For instance, in the bike “ride,” some of the riders were beginning to doubt their ability to finish the event; at the bottom of each hill deciding they wanted to stop – to give up. They struggled with the self talk and convinced themselves they couldn’t finish because they just didn’t have what it took.  The energy expended talking themselves into defeat was more than just doing it!

In the posture clinic, one participant announced that she just had “crappie” (actually, she used a different word) posture and didn’t even want to try because she was destined to slouch.  She always had…always will.

At Mark’s talk, he discussed an event where he was racing against Dave Scott (another well known triathlete) and at the 10th or so mile of the running portion of the Hawaii Ironman, he started to tell himself he just wasn’t any good and couldn’t beat Dave. Dave was the champion…who was he kidding?

In each scenario, self-doubt and the words we tell ourselves can either create a struggle in the event and in life, or the create the ride of a lifetime; one with hope, strength and power.

On the bike ride, many could have given up, convincing themselves they were too weak, heavy, old (fill in the blank) to finish.  Instead, we looked around; there were 2500 riders, each fit in their own way, each doing something phenomenal and so far beyond sitting on the couch watching a TIVO recorded show.  How could one compare them to anything but amazing just by trying?

In the workshop, the participant decided her thoughts about her body needed to change immediately in order to realize she is beautiful and strong and can stand tall.

For Mark Allen, he had a reality check. He was one of two men at the lead of what’s dubbed as the world’s most difficult sport/race. How could he tell himself he wasn’t any good? He was at the heels of the world’s best athlete in extreme conditions, and at the very least, he would take 2nd place over thousands of high-end competitors.   It was at that moment that he realized how good he really was. He felt lightness in his step and went on to pass Dave and begin a 6 time winning streak at Ironman Hawaii (a record still held by the Ironman community for men).

What are the negative things we hear and what do we tell ourselves which keeps us from accepting and loving ourselves?  Are we propelling ourselves with confidence to go beyond our self inflicted limitations or are constantly convincing ourselves we can’t do it?

I am challenging myself this week, as well as my clients to take a look at what we have accomplished and are continuing to achieve instead of what we can’t do because we tell ourselves we aren’t able to for some reason or another.  This week and beyond, I am putting the Monkey Chatter on MUTE!


Monday Mojo: Finding Your Meaning and Purpose in Life

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Last Wednesday I had the privilege of attending the 17th Annual Silicon Valley Prayer Breakfast in Palo Alto.  The theme was “Finding Meaning and Purpose in Life”.  There were two incredibly powerful speakers.  I walked out humbled and inspired. I walked out determined to find my meaning and purpose in life.

First was Tim Borland – in 2007 he ran 63 Marathons in 63 days.  Why you ask?  Tim’s life mission is to advocate for children in need by using his gift in endurance running.  Click on the link below and watch this video – this is Tim’s meaning. This is his purpose:

Tim’s four keys to finding meaning and purpose in life:

  1. Focus on the needs of others before ourselves.
  2. Develop an accurate view and understanding of fear.  He said fear of failure is a dream crusher.
  3. Be willing to risk it all.
  4. Pray for a God inspired vision.

Second was Joe Ehrmann. He played football for the Colts for 13 year and was named Colts’ Man of the Year.  In the same year Ehrmann played in the Pro Bowl he watched his brother Billy loose his fight with cancer.  This experience caused Ehrmann to rethink and reorder his priorities in life. Ehrmann spearheaded the construction of a Ronald McDonald House in Baltimore in memory of Billy. In the off-season, Ehrmann attended classes at Dallas Theological Seminary and, following his football career, he graduated from Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia, specializing in urban ministry. He was ordained in 1985. Parade Magazine name Joe the “Most Important Coach in America” due to his tireless efforts to change the culture of sports.  Joe and his wife Paula co-founded Building Men and Women for Others to help every man, woman and child reach his or her potential.  He was also the recipient of the National Fatherhood Initiative’s Man of the Year Award.

This is his meaning. This is his purpose:

As a Pastor for more than 25 years of his life he has been with many people as their life on earth ends.  He said – all people care about at the end of their life is who did I love and who loved me, and did I make a difference.  Nothing else matters – not money, not fame, not power – nothing else.

Two ordinary men doing extraordinary things.  So, what is your meaning and purpose in life? If you don’t know – find it!


Monday Morning Mojo: The Circle of Success

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The key to achieving your dreams is making the choice to. The most common difference between those who have an AWESOME life and those who don’t are simply the choices they make every day.  It’s not their circumstances, the way they were raised, or their education.  Most people who are not accomplishing their dreams in life are those that have chosen not to. These people just aren’t willing to do what is necessary to have a life that good.

Think about your life for a moment, what do you want and what does it take to get it?  So, why haven’t you been doing what it takes to get it?

Before you start with all of the excuses, ask yourself – if you really had to do it, could you?  Let me make it clear how this is a choice – I don’t even like to think these thoughts, but it will help you understand that you can do it, if you want it bad enough.  If the person or people you care about the most lives depended upon it, could you do it? We both know the answer. Of course you could and would.  Life is a series of choices – I call them the Y’s in the road.  In most cases if you take the easy path – the one most people take – you will experience short term gain and long term pain. On the other hand if you have the courage to take the other path – the one most will not take – you will have some short term pain, but long term gain. So, make the right choice and have a life of pure magic!

Start by making the choice everyday to FEEL GOOD.  Because when you FEEL GOOD you are ATTRACTIVE. When you are ATTRACTIVE, you have AMAZING PRODUCTIVITY. When you have AMAZING PRODUCTIVITY, you have EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS. And when you have EXTRAORDINARY RESULT, you feel even better! It is the circle of success.

Make it a GREAT week and make the right choices.


Thursday’s Thoughts on Leadership: Leaders Understand – Failure is a Part of Success

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Most of us have heard the story of Thomas Edison failing his way to success in the invention of the light bulb.

He literally failed 10,000 times before getting it right.

If Edison had said, “I am a failure. My idea is bad, my work is misguided, my mission is lost,” the world would be a much darker place. Of course, what he did do was learn from the failures, made changes, and tried again.

Bingo.

Early in my real estate career I seriously was considering quitting the business. I struggled greatly for my first deal. Then out of the blue a friend called and said he wanted to move. I said to myself, “OK, I will get out of the real estate business after I close this one deal.” That deal led to another and another and pretty soon there was no looking back.

One year later I had closed 52 deals!

Here is what I have learned: when you have a setback – losing a big sale, being passed over for a career-making promotion, even getting fired – allow yourself a short time to grieve, then get right back up on your horse and plan your next move.

The great coach Bill Walsh, in his book “The Score Takes Care of Itself,” recounts how close he came to quitting in the second season as 49er head coach, hitting rock bottom after a crushing loss to the Miami Dolphins. He spent part of a transcontinental flight experiencing an emotional meltdown.

Sixteen months later, the San Francisco 49ers became world champions, defeating the Cincinnati Bengals 26-21 in Super Bowl XVI at the Silver Dome in Pontiac, Michigan.

A football dynasty was in the works. The 49ers won five Super Bowls over fourteen years.

Thomas Edison and Bill Walsh both understood that failure is an integral part of success. We would do well to follow their lead.


Wednesday Wellness: Trying Something New

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Often in my Wednesday Wellness articles I write about what I see and observe during the week.  I am inspired, almost daily, by someone or something within the routine of what I do.  This past week I’ve noticed a rising number of people who, when they are approaching a workout regiment, are nervous, scared and intimidated.

I realize starting anything new can be daunting, but what I find fascinating is that out of the 8 or so new clients I’ve recently met, they are all very unsure of their potential.  In fact, they set themselves up to fail or to allow themselves to fail.  They are comparing themselves to others and feeling as though they are the only ones who feel they can’t do it.

The irony here is that all 8 feel as though they are the only ones who can’t, but in reality they all CAN, just in their own way.  Who is to say one of us is better than the other at anything?  We all (me too) get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others that we hone in our insecurities and shortcomings.

Since I have the unique pleasure of meeting so many people and being a sounding board for this diversity, I can say with all confidence that we are our own worst critic.

My message here is simple: let go of what you think you cannot do, what you might feel afraid of or what you think someone will judge you as. Take a leap of faith as though no one is noticing your shortcomings and DO IT!  I bet if you pause for a moment, you know someone who is always up for anything and that person is the light that brightens every room!  THAT is what I am truly inspired by…the people who are willing try something new; no matter how they do it!


Thursday Thoughts on Leadership: Creating a Company of Leaders

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As we head into the New Year; full of promise despite these challenging times, I look forward to sharing with you, each Thursday some weekly leadership thoughts. Ralph Nader once said, “I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.” At Intero, we strive to embrace this concept. It is always with great pride that we share with all of you, the remarkable growth and pre-eminent position Intero has achieved since it was established in 2002. Central to that success has been our principal of empowering people, more specifically, our agents, employees and customers.

A quick peek at our website to read the bios of our Executive Leadership demonstrates a well rounded and dynamic class of leaders from the Chairman to our Managing Officers. Just because these men and women hold titles that are associated with leadership, that does not prevent each member of the Intero family from becoming a strong and effective leader in their own right.

At Intero, we are blessed with incredible leaders, recognized around the country and in fact the world, for their expertise and accomplishments in the Real Estate industry, but our true strength is in the leadership exhibited by each of our agents.

The truth is that at each client visit, as you sit across the table from your prospective client, you are the face of the organization. You are in charge. The success of the organization lies in the result of those individual meetings. Our market share is an impressive number but it is only impressive because it is built on the very real victories realized by each one of you one client at a time.

Your presence and participation at conferences and training events locally, regionally and even nationally allow each of you the opportunity to represent Intero. It brings to life the ideals of continual forward thought, always investing in the future, and always looking for innovative opportunities that make it possible for Intero to grow.

Thousands of times over each year, you are leading Intero.

If you embrace this principal, that each of you can be a leader, you will find within yourself a greater desire to succeed and to perform at a higher level because you represent something larger than yourself. My hope is that each of you has your most successful year ever in 2010. Strive to make it so and recognize yourself as a leader in this company; a company of leaders.


Monday Morning Mojo: The Power of a Smile

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I saw this study which was detailed in the journal of Motivation and Emotion.  I thought it was worth sharing for a mojo, it’s pretty interesting.  It is titled “If you want to know whether your marriage will survive, look at your spouse’s yearbook photos”.  I am sure photographs not only can help predict whether your marriage will be successful, but can help predict whether we will be successful in many other areas of our lives. Just remember it is never too late to start smiling.

Psychologists have found that how much people smile in old photographs can predict their later success in marriage.

In one test, the researchers looked at people’s college yearbook photos, and rated their smile intensity from 1 to 10. None of the people who fell within the top 10 percent of smile strength had divorced, while within the bottom 10 percent of smilers, almost one in four had had a marriage that ended, the researchers say. (Scoring was based on the stretch in two muscles: one that pulls up on the mouth, and one that creates wrinkles around the eyes.)

In a second trial, the research team asked people over age 65 to provide photos from their childhood (the average age in the pictures was 10 years old). The researchers scored each person’s smile, and found that only 11 percent of the biggest smilers had been divorced, while 31 percent of the frowners had experienced a broken marriage.

Overall, the results indicate that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile.

While the connection is striking, the researchers stress that they can’t conclude anything about the cause of the correlation.

“Maybe smiling represents a positive disposition towards life,” said study leader Matthew Hertenstein, a psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana. “Or maybe smiling people attract other happier people, and the combination may lead to a greater likelihood of a long-lasting marriage. We don’t really know for sure what’s causing it.”

Hertenstein said he has considered other explanations, such as the possibility that people who smile more often tend to attract more friends, and a larger support network makes it easier to keep a marriage healthy.

The results of the study fit into a larger pattern of research that has found many personality characteristics can be determined from very thin slices of behavior. Basically, we often reveal ourselves in the most subtle, simple ways.

And smiling in photographs has been shown to be correlated with a number of traits, including a generally happier disposition.

“I think [our results] go along with a lot of the literature that’s been coming out over the last five to 10 years, which shows that positive emotionality is incredibly important in our lives,” Hertenstein told LiveScience. “There are many, many beneficial outcomes to a positive disposition.”

The findings are also notable because they found a connection between photos taken when people were young and marriage outcomes that sometimes occurred much later.

“It feeds into this idea that what’s occurring earlier in our lives in terms of our present situation and our mental state can predict things that occur decades later,” Hertenstein said. “Showing the continuity in who we are is really important.”

The good news is it is never too late.  Start smiling today.

Make it a powerful week!


Discover Your Passion

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What if I told you that you could do virtually anything you put your mind to? Even if you didn’t necessarily know that it was something you thought you wanted to do? What if I told you not only would you achieve it, but you’d exceed your goals and discover a passion for this new thing that you didn’t know existed within you? Oh, and you’d also lose over 25 pounds and 5% body fat in pursuit of this newfound passion, too. And all you had to do was suit up, show up, do the work and let the magic happen? Sounds impossible?

Recently, I got to witness a few of my clients complete a half century (50 mile) bike ride in Solvang. When they started “training” for this event, they were doing it because (quite honestly) their husbands were doing it and wanted their wives to do it, too. Begrudgingly, the girls started training, and signed up for the 25-mile event (while the guys were signed up for a metric century, or 62.5 miles.) But somewhere along the way, with more than a few thousand pedal strokes in between, the magic happened for them.

I was fortunate to watch as the passion unfolded for them. They started strength training, they began a nutrition program, and started riding their new bikes. Shifting? Nerve wracking for them. The saddle?? Ridiculously uncomfortable. And don’t even THINK about using anything other than their tennis shoes to ride with…

Slowly but surely, as they gained confidence and we went on ride after ride with one another, they began to flourish. They got new cycling gear. They learned how to shift. And they even used “clipless” pedals (which if you’re a cyclist you KNOW what a big deal this is!) With each pedal stroke, they came closer to realizing their goal of now a 50-mile ride. Inconceivable! And it no longer mattered that their husbands “wanted” them to do it–they now wanted to do it for themselves, because they truly loved cycling.

The big day arrived, and they had done their homework. No cramming necessary. Even though the day was tough at times, and glorious, too THEY DID IT!!! They completed the 50-mile ride. And without exception, every one of them said that never in their wildest dreams did they think they could do it and LOVE it so much. I couldn’t have been more proud and excited. The best part? They’ve already signed up for the next one…regardless of whether or not their husbands do it!

Discover your passion. Be willing to take risks and KNOW that you can indeed do virtually ANYTHING that you put your mind to.

This was written by one of Body Firm’s amazing trainers, Stacia Carney, who was able to witness this metamorphis over the last several months!