Archive for the ‘Positive attitude’ Category

Wednesday Wellness: Putting the Monkey Chatter on MUTE

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Often I wait until the “night of” to write my Wednesday Wellness.  I do this because I trust that certain topics of inspiration will come my way in the week’s unfolding so that I can share with you what I’ve learned and who I’ve been inspired by.

The last 3 days did just this for me.

Have you ever heard of the term monkey chatter?  It’s the noise in our heads which talk to us over and over telling us what we can’t do, why we can’t do it and how disabled we are at something we believe we can never achieve.  It’s the “I’ll never be good enough” mantra.  And you know what, it works amazingly well!

Saturday, I had the opportunity to ride with an exceptional group of riders on a 65 mile road race (we like to call them “rides”) through the Gilroy foothills (side note, if you’ve never explored the Gilroy foothills…it’s a must do). The riders were of all shapes, ages, sizes and experience.

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to attend a yoga workshop about posture and alignment, again with men and women ranging in age, experience, motivation and flexibility.

On Monday, I had the incredible opportunity to listen to Mark Allen, six-time Ironman victor.

In each of these events, the concept of how our thoughts project our outcome (positive or negative) was the main theme of the day.

For instance, in the bike “ride,” some of the riders were beginning to doubt their ability to finish the event; at the bottom of each hill deciding they wanted to stop – to give up. They struggled with the self talk and convinced themselves they couldn’t finish because they just didn’t have what it took.  The energy expended talking themselves into defeat was more than just doing it!

In the posture clinic, one participant announced that she just had “crappie” (actually, she used a different word) posture and didn’t even want to try because she was destined to slouch.  She always had…always will.

At Mark’s talk, he discussed an event where he was racing against Dave Scott (another well known triathlete) and at the 10th or so mile of the running portion of the Hawaii Ironman, he started to tell himself he just wasn’t any good and couldn’t beat Dave. Dave was the champion…who was he kidding?

In each scenario, self-doubt and the words we tell ourselves can either create a struggle in the event and in life, or the create the ride of a lifetime; one with hope, strength and power.

On the bike ride, many could have given up, convincing themselves they were too weak, heavy, old (fill in the blank) to finish.  Instead, we looked around; there were 2500 riders, each fit in their own way, each doing something phenomenal and so far beyond sitting on the couch watching a TIVO recorded show.  How could one compare them to anything but amazing just by trying?

In the workshop, the participant decided her thoughts about her body needed to change immediately in order to realize she is beautiful and strong and can stand tall.

For Mark Allen, he had a reality check. He was one of two men at the lead of what’s dubbed as the world’s most difficult sport/race. How could he tell himself he wasn’t any good? He was at the heels of the world’s best athlete in extreme conditions, and at the very least, he would take 2nd place over thousands of high-end competitors.   It was at that moment that he realized how good he really was. He felt lightness in his step and went on to pass Dave and begin a 6 time winning streak at Ironman Hawaii (a record still held by the Ironman community for men).

What are the negative things we hear and what do we tell ourselves which keeps us from accepting and loving ourselves?  Are we propelling ourselves with confidence to go beyond our self inflicted limitations or are constantly convincing ourselves we can’t do it?

I am challenging myself this week, as well as my clients to take a look at what we have accomplished and are continuing to achieve instead of what we can’t do because we tell ourselves we aren’t able to for some reason or another.  This week and beyond, I am putting the Monkey Chatter on MUTE!


Monday Mojo: Finding Your Meaning and Purpose in Life

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Last Wednesday I had the privilege of attending the 17th Annual Silicon Valley Prayer Breakfast in Palo Alto.  The theme was “Finding Meaning and Purpose in Life”.  There were two incredibly powerful speakers.  I walked out humbled and inspired. I walked out determined to find my meaning and purpose in life.

First was Tim Borland – in 2007 he ran 63 Marathons in 63 days.  Why you ask?  Tim’s life mission is to advocate for children in need by using his gift in endurance running.  Click on the link below and watch this video – this is Tim’s meaning. This is his purpose:

Tim’s four keys to finding meaning and purpose in life:

  1. Focus on the needs of others before ourselves.
  2. Develop an accurate view and understanding of fear.  He said fear of failure is a dream crusher.
  3. Be willing to risk it all.
  4. Pray for a God inspired vision.

Second was Joe Ehrmann. He played football for the Colts for 13 year and was named Colts’ Man of the Year.  In the same year Ehrmann played in the Pro Bowl he watched his brother Billy loose his fight with cancer.  This experience caused Ehrmann to rethink and reorder his priorities in life. Ehrmann spearheaded the construction of a Ronald McDonald House in Baltimore in memory of Billy. In the off-season, Ehrmann attended classes at Dallas Theological Seminary and, following his football career, he graduated from Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia, specializing in urban ministry. He was ordained in 1985. Parade Magazine name Joe the “Most Important Coach in America” due to his tireless efforts to change the culture of sports.  Joe and his wife Paula co-founded Building Men and Women for Others to help every man, woman and child reach his or her potential.  He was also the recipient of the National Fatherhood Initiative’s Man of the Year Award.

This is his meaning. This is his purpose:

As a Pastor for more than 25 years of his life he has been with many people as their life on earth ends.  He said – all people care about at the end of their life is who did I love and who loved me, and did I make a difference.  Nothing else matters – not money, not fame, not power – nothing else.

Two ordinary men doing extraordinary things.  So, what is your meaning and purpose in life? If you don’t know – find it!


Monday Morning Mojo: The Circle of Success

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The key to achieving your dreams is making the choice to. The most common difference between those who have an AWESOME life and those who don’t are simply the choices they make every day.  It’s not their circumstances, the way they were raised, or their education.  Most people who are not accomplishing their dreams in life are those that have chosen not to. These people just aren’t willing to do what is necessary to have a life that good.

Think about your life for a moment, what do you want and what does it take to get it?  So, why haven’t you been doing what it takes to get it?

Before you start with all of the excuses, ask yourself – if you really had to do it, could you?  Let me make it clear how this is a choice – I don’t even like to think these thoughts, but it will help you understand that you can do it, if you want it bad enough.  If the person or people you care about the most lives depended upon it, could you do it? We both know the answer. Of course you could and would.  Life is a series of choices – I call them the Y’s in the road.  In most cases if you take the easy path – the one most people take – you will experience short term gain and long term pain. On the other hand if you have the courage to take the other path – the one most will not take – you will have some short term pain, but long term gain. So, make the right choice and have a life of pure magic!

Start by making the choice everyday to FEEL GOOD.  Because when you FEEL GOOD you are ATTRACTIVE. When you are ATTRACTIVE, you have AMAZING PRODUCTIVITY. When you have AMAZING PRODUCTIVITY, you have EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS. And when you have EXTRAORDINARY RESULT, you feel even better! It is the circle of success.

Make it a GREAT week and make the right choices.


Thursday’s Thoughts on Leadership: Leaders Understand – Failure is a Part of Success

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Most of us have heard the story of Thomas Edison failing his way to success in the invention of the light bulb.

He literally failed 10,000 times before getting it right.

If Edison had said, “I am a failure. My idea is bad, my work is misguided, my mission is lost,” the world would be a much darker place. Of course, what he did do was learn from the failures, made changes, and tried again.

Bingo.

Early in my real estate career I seriously was considering quitting the business. I struggled greatly for my first deal. Then out of the blue a friend called and said he wanted to move. I said to myself, “OK, I will get out of the real estate business after I close this one deal.” That deal led to another and another and pretty soon there was no looking back.

One year later I had closed 52 deals!

Here is what I have learned: when you have a setback – losing a big sale, being passed over for a career-making promotion, even getting fired – allow yourself a short time to grieve, then get right back up on your horse and plan your next move.

The great coach Bill Walsh, in his book “The Score Takes Care of Itself,” recounts how close he came to quitting in the second season as 49er head coach, hitting rock bottom after a crushing loss to the Miami Dolphins. He spent part of a transcontinental flight experiencing an emotional meltdown.

Sixteen months later, the San Francisco 49ers became world champions, defeating the Cincinnati Bengals 26-21 in Super Bowl XVI at the Silver Dome in Pontiac, Michigan.

A football dynasty was in the works. The 49ers won five Super Bowls over fourteen years.

Thomas Edison and Bill Walsh both understood that failure is an integral part of success. We would do well to follow their lead.


Wednesday Wellness: Trying Something New

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Often in my Wednesday Wellness articles I write about what I see and observe during the week.  I am inspired, almost daily, by someone or something within the routine of what I do.  This past week I’ve noticed a rising number of people who, when they are approaching a workout regiment, are nervous, scared and intimidated.

I realize starting anything new can be daunting, but what I find fascinating is that out of the 8 or so new clients I’ve recently met, they are all very unsure of their potential.  In fact, they set themselves up to fail or to allow themselves to fail.  They are comparing themselves to others and feeling as though they are the only ones who feel they can’t do it.

The irony here is that all 8 feel as though they are the only ones who can’t, but in reality they all CAN, just in their own way.  Who is to say one of us is better than the other at anything?  We all (me too) get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others that we hone in our insecurities and shortcomings.

Since I have the unique pleasure of meeting so many people and being a sounding board for this diversity, I can say with all confidence that we are our own worst critic.

My message here is simple: let go of what you think you cannot do, what you might feel afraid of or what you think someone will judge you as. Take a leap of faith as though no one is noticing your shortcomings and DO IT!  I bet if you pause for a moment, you know someone who is always up for anything and that person is the light that brightens every room!  THAT is what I am truly inspired by…the people who are willing try something new; no matter how they do it!


Thursday Thoughts on Leadership: Creating a Company of Leaders

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As we head into the New Year; full of promise despite these challenging times, I look forward to sharing with you, each Thursday some weekly leadership thoughts. Ralph Nader once said, “I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.” At Intero, we strive to embrace this concept. It is always with great pride that we share with all of you, the remarkable growth and pre-eminent position Intero has achieved since it was established in 2002. Central to that success has been our principal of empowering people, more specifically, our agents, employees and customers.

A quick peek at our website to read the bios of our Executive Leadership demonstrates a well rounded and dynamic class of leaders from the Chairman to our Managing Officers. Just because these men and women hold titles that are associated with leadership, that does not prevent each member of the Intero family from becoming a strong and effective leader in their own right.

At Intero, we are blessed with incredible leaders, recognized around the country and in fact the world, for their expertise and accomplishments in the Real Estate industry, but our true strength is in the leadership exhibited by each of our agents.

The truth is that at each client visit, as you sit across the table from your prospective client, you are the face of the organization. You are in charge. The success of the organization lies in the result of those individual meetings. Our market share is an impressive number but it is only impressive because it is built on the very real victories realized by each one of you one client at a time.

Your presence and participation at conferences and training events locally, regionally and even nationally allow each of you the opportunity to represent Intero. It brings to life the ideals of continual forward thought, always investing in the future, and always looking for innovative opportunities that make it possible for Intero to grow.

Thousands of times over each year, you are leading Intero.

If you embrace this principal, that each of you can be a leader, you will find within yourself a greater desire to succeed and to perform at a higher level because you represent something larger than yourself. My hope is that each of you has your most successful year ever in 2010. Strive to make it so and recognize yourself as a leader in this company; a company of leaders.


Monday Morning Mojo: The Power of a Smile

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I saw this study which was detailed in the journal of Motivation and Emotion.  I thought it was worth sharing for a mojo, it’s pretty interesting.  It is titled “If you want to know whether your marriage will survive, look at your spouse’s yearbook photos”.  I am sure photographs not only can help predict whether your marriage will be successful, but can help predict whether we will be successful in many other areas of our lives. Just remember it is never too late to start smiling.

Psychologists have found that how much people smile in old photographs can predict their later success in marriage.

In one test, the researchers looked at people’s college yearbook photos, and rated their smile intensity from 1 to 10. None of the people who fell within the top 10 percent of smile strength had divorced, while within the bottom 10 percent of smilers, almost one in four had had a marriage that ended, the researchers say. (Scoring was based on the stretch in two muscles: one that pulls up on the mouth, and one that creates wrinkles around the eyes.)

In a second trial, the research team asked people over age 65 to provide photos from their childhood (the average age in the pictures was 10 years old). The researchers scored each person’s smile, and found that only 11 percent of the biggest smilers had been divorced, while 31 percent of the frowners had experienced a broken marriage.

Overall, the results indicate that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile.

While the connection is striking, the researchers stress that they can’t conclude anything about the cause of the correlation.

“Maybe smiling represents a positive disposition towards life,” said study leader Matthew Hertenstein, a psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana. “Or maybe smiling people attract other happier people, and the combination may lead to a greater likelihood of a long-lasting marriage. We don’t really know for sure what’s causing it.”

Hertenstein said he has considered other explanations, such as the possibility that people who smile more often tend to attract more friends, and a larger support network makes it easier to keep a marriage healthy.

The results of the study fit into a larger pattern of research that has found many personality characteristics can be determined from very thin slices of behavior. Basically, we often reveal ourselves in the most subtle, simple ways.

And smiling in photographs has been shown to be correlated with a number of traits, including a generally happier disposition.

“I think [our results] go along with a lot of the literature that’s been coming out over the last five to 10 years, which shows that positive emotionality is incredibly important in our lives,” Hertenstein told LiveScience. “There are many, many beneficial outcomes to a positive disposition.”

The findings are also notable because they found a connection between photos taken when people were young and marriage outcomes that sometimes occurred much later.

“It feeds into this idea that what’s occurring earlier in our lives in terms of our present situation and our mental state can predict things that occur decades later,” Hertenstein said. “Showing the continuity in who we are is really important.”

The good news is it is never too late.  Start smiling today.

Make it a powerful week!


Discover Your Passion

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What if I told you that you could do virtually anything you put your mind to? Even if you didn’t necessarily know that it was something you thought you wanted to do? What if I told you not only would you achieve it, but you’d exceed your goals and discover a passion for this new thing that you didn’t know existed within you? Oh, and you’d also lose over 25 pounds and 5% body fat in pursuit of this newfound passion, too. And all you had to do was suit up, show up, do the work and let the magic happen? Sounds impossible?

Recently, I got to witness a few of my clients complete a half century (50 mile) bike ride in Solvang. When they started “training” for this event, they were doing it because (quite honestly) their husbands were doing it and wanted their wives to do it, too. Begrudgingly, the girls started training, and signed up for the 25-mile event (while the guys were signed up for a metric century, or 62.5 miles.) But somewhere along the way, with more than a few thousand pedal strokes in between, the magic happened for them.

I was fortunate to watch as the passion unfolded for them. They started strength training, they began a nutrition program, and started riding their new bikes. Shifting? Nerve wracking for them. The saddle?? Ridiculously uncomfortable. And don’t even THINK about using anything other than their tennis shoes to ride with…

Slowly but surely, as they gained confidence and we went on ride after ride with one another, they began to flourish. They got new cycling gear. They learned how to shift. And they even used “clipless” pedals (which if you’re a cyclist you KNOW what a big deal this is!) With each pedal stroke, they came closer to realizing their goal of now a 50-mile ride. Inconceivable! And it no longer mattered that their husbands “wanted” them to do it–they now wanted to do it for themselves, because they truly loved cycling.

The big day arrived, and they had done their homework. No cramming necessary. Even though the day was tough at times, and glorious, too THEY DID IT!!! They completed the 50-mile ride. And without exception, every one of them said that never in their wildest dreams did they think they could do it and LOVE it so much. I couldn’t have been more proud and excited. The best part? They’ve already signed up for the next one…regardless of whether or not their husbands do it!

Discover your passion. Be willing to take risks and KNOW that you can indeed do virtually ANYTHING that you put your mind to.

This was written by one of Body Firm’s amazing trainers, Stacia Carney, who was able to witness this metamorphis over the last several months!


Positive vs. Negative

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Every time you see them, you try and avoid them like the plague because they are just so negative and draining. To them everything is a crisis. Everyone and everything is out to get them. Nothing works and everything that is not going right in their world is someone else’s fault – never theirs. They never smile and they always seem to find the negative in everything and everybody, never the positive. Anytime there is a small setback, it is like the world is coming to an end. They treat life like it is a WIN/LOSE game and trust me, there is no such thing. Whenever someone wins and someone loses, both lose. Does this type of person sound familiar? Do you know people like this? I sure do.

Then there are those people you love being around because for whatever reason they just have this positive energy about them which makes you feel good. They are always fired up and have a smile on their face. When there are small set backs, they seem to find the positive side or don’t even acknowledge it. They just keep moving forward as if it is an expected part of the process. They are the ones who keep their emotions under control. They don’t yell, they don’t scream, they don’t attack, they don’t fight and they don’t blame. Now don’t get me wrong, they are passionate and fired up. They just don’t fight it. They seem to always find a way to use the flow to their advantage. They aren’t pushing. They seem to be getting pulled through life. They are WIN/WIN people – always looking for ways that they can WIN, along with everyone else.

The interesting thing about these two different types of people is that the positive ones almost always seem to win in all aspects of their life – personal, professional, business, health, you name it. They actually say people who smile and laugh a lot (the positive ones) live longer and are much healthier and happier. The negative ones always seem to look unhealthy and anxious. They seem to struggle in business and in their relationships, and they look run down.

So, my question to you is which one are you? Be honest. Is your energy good energy or bad energy?  Fired up energy or draining energy? If you asked those around you to describe your energy, what would they say? Fired up and infectious or exhausting and draining. Are you positive or negative? Do you fight life or do you use those people and things around you to propel you to success.

It is a choice. Another one of those small choices I write about every Monday morning.  It is the cumulative affect of all those small choices that will get you are looking for in life.

Make it a GREAT week!!!!


Monday Morning Mojo: Will Smith’s Wisdom on Life

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Funny, I would not think of Will Smith as being an inspiring leader, would you?

When you watch him on the TV or the movie screen he just appears to be this talented actor who got lucky.  Wow, after I watched this, I have a totally new appreciation for him and who he is.

Grab a cup of coffee and watch this 10 minute video as Will Smith shares his wisdom on life. Then after that on a scale of 1 to 10 rate yourself on the list of things he discusses below. Are you doing them? Do you believe them? Are you willing to die for them? Then start with the ones you ranked yourself lowest on and get to work on changing it.

  1. I have a GREAT TIME with my life and I want to share it.
  2. I LOVE LIVING and it is infectious.
  3. GREATNESS exists in all of us. It is not this elusive God-like feature that only the special among us have, it is in all of us.
  4. It is simple – this is what I believe and I am willing to die for it, period. It’s that simple. Don’t make it anymore complicated than that.
  5. Don’t think that where we are is where you are going to be, or where we are going to end up. Where you are almost does not matter.
  6. There is no shortcut to success. There is talent and there is skill. Talent we have naturally. Skill is only developed by hours and hours of beating on your craft. I love this – Will Smith says he does not consider himself particularly talented…he says where he excels is his ridiculous, sickening work ethic.  While the other guy is sleeping, I am working. While the other guy is eating, I am working. No matter how talented you are your talent is going to fail you if you are not skilled. You have to dedicate yourself to being better everyday.
  7. The only thing distinctly different with me is I am not afraid to die on a treadmill. You may have more talent than me and you might be smarter than me, but if we get on the treadmill together you are getting off first or I am going to die, it is that simple.
  8. You don’t just try to build a wall – you say ‘I am going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid’ and if you do that every single day soon you will have a wall.
  9. Focus on making a difference – if you are going to be here, there is a necessity to make a difference. I want the world to be better because I was here. I want my life to mean something. Your life will become better by making other lives better.
  10. I want to represent an idea. I want to represent possibilities that you can really make what you want. I can create whatever I want to create.
  11. You have to believe! The first step before anyone else is going to believe, it is you have to believe it. You can’t have a plan B because that distracts from plan A.
  12. There is a delusional quality that all successful people have to have – you have to believe that something different, than has happened the last 50 million years can happen.  Confucius said that ‘he who says he can, and he who says he can’t, are both usually right.’
  13. Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity. Why would you be realistic? What is the point of being realistic? The second I decide it is done, it is already done.
  14. Our thoughts are physical in the universe. Don’t let the universe push you around – bend the universe. Make a choice and don’t be at effect of the things that are happening around you. Just decide and the universe is going to get out of your way.
  15. To be as successful as I want to be, it takes a desperate obsessive focus.
  16. You cannot be scared to die for the truth. The truth is the only thing that is going to be constant.

Link to Will’s favorite book – The Alchemist – by Paulo Coelho