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Thursday Thoughts: The 10 qualities of a true leader

By Gino Blefari | May 13th, 2010 0 Comments

People often ask me to share the secret to successful leadership – the one magical thing that propels people to positions of responsibility and respect.

But there is no “secret” and there is no one thing I can impart. The truth is the recipe for true leadership is a complex blend of qualities that shift in importance with time and circumstances. This is not an easy answer, but then leadership is not easy, is it?

Here, in no particular order of importance, are the 10 qualities I believe every leader must understand, cling to and put to practice.

It’s a list I reflect on often myself. I hope you will too.

  1. A desire to be recognized, and a commitment to achieving that recognition through unfailing honesty
  2. Resilience: the capacity to overcome setbacks, adversity, rejection quickly – and with grace
  3. An awareness that the extremes of your personality will be the drivers of your success (but may also be talked about at company parties!)
  4. A boundless willingness to work hard – not only to achieve your personal goals, but to inspire tenacity in those around you
  5. An ability to alternately employ passion and common sense to solve problems.
  6. The confidence to rise above fear of strong colleagues. Famed marketer Guy Kawasaki said, “A players surround themselves with A+ players – it’s the only way to get where you want to go.”
  7. A willingness to make unrecognized sacrifices for those you lead. It is often the smallest kindness or most private act of generosity that has the biggest impact.
  8. A passion to succeed that is matched only by a desire to see those who work for you succeed
  9. An ability to recognize that you are unfinished work that can be constantly improved upon by learning
  10. An abiding sense of humility that keeps you down to earth no matter how far you rise

As you think about your career – indeed, your life – ask yourself which of these qualities you might work more diligently to cultivate. Your progress toward leadership will accelerate to the extent you answer with honesty and conviction.

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Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Success, Thursday's Thoughts On Leadership, leaders

Wednesday Wellness: Life Planning

By Tammy Parkinson | May 5th, 2010 0 Comments

Over the past week I have shared this analogy with several of my clients and it “sticks”!

Let’s say you are the family planner and financial budgeter. It’s October and you realize Christmas and property taxes are right around the corner. You know you will be spending quite a bit of money in December. Do you:

a)     Spend like there’s no tomorrow and worry about your credit card balances December 20th, hoping you’ll get a free offer for a new credit card around December 15th?

b)     In October, budget in order to be in the black come December 1st so that when you do need to buy presents you won’t go too far in the red

c)     Don’t worry about it much because you’ve already saved your money last summer and you have enough in the bank in order to safely skate through December without going into a national deficit.

Now let’s say you are going on a big trip with friends and/or family to Italy this summer. There’s wine, pasta, pizza, gelato and pounds to be gained (lots of them).   You are hoping to be in the best shape of your life before you travel to Italy. Do you…

a)     Crash diet 2 weeks before the trip, cleansing, detoxing, fasting and starving so you can have pizza, pasta and gelato (knowing you’ll gain it all back because you’ve only lost water and completely messed up your metabolism)

b)     Start to get in shape a couple of months before the big trip, working on your fitness, watching what you eat and starting to lose a few pounds before your adventure, hoping you can keep it off.

c)      Are already in shape because you planned on being in phenomenal shape several months before the event while at the same time creating lifelong habits of how to travel, what to eat and how to exercise; no matter where you are?   You know that when you get to Italy you will indulge a little but you will feel so great about your health, you won’t feel possessed to eat pizza and gelato like you will never have it again…ever?

Of course in each scenario, best case is “c”, and with “b” you can get by (barely). Unfortunately, so many of us choose “a” in our life, not just with our health and our budget…but everything. We put off what we know we need or want to do because somehow we make ourselves believe in the 11th hour we can always pull it together.

The problem isn’t that we pull it together; it’s that we never plan for what happens in the moment after we dodge the bullet. We stay on this inevitable roller coaster through life and are always living in the 9th inning so to speak.

It is late spring now. Most likely you have something fun planned for later in the summer which involves activities and indulging. Consider starting your spring training early and go into the home stretch already having achieved your goals!

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Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Discipline, Success, Wellness by Tammy Parkinson

Monday Mojo: It’s All In The Build Up

By Tom Tognoli | May 3rd, 2010 0 Comments

We look forward to it for weeks or months – lying on the beach, drinking a Mai Tai, and listening to the waves crash.  Oh, just the sound of it as I am writing feels amazing, refreshing, and relaxing. Then it’s over and the let down begins.

Do you ever notice when you go on vacation one of the best parts is the build up?  It’s like that for almost everything we do in life – it’s the building that is actually the best part.  Unfortunately, most people don’t realize it until they finally reach the destination, the let down begins and it’s too late. We look back and the best part has passed us by. We look back and realize it was the process of getting there – the build up or building of the outcome which was the best part. Hell – that’s what life is all about! Ask anyone who is on his or her deathbed.

All too often we think reaching the goal will make us feel better. We think things will get better when we finally reach our destination of success. However, if you listen to the true champions, the real success stories – they are present during the process and enjoy the process of growing. The process of getting better. The process of reaching the goal itself. It’s the rush of the building that fires them up. It’s the competition. It’s the small battles along the way, which they live for. The outcome is simply the result of what they love doing.

To accomplish all of your goals, love what you do and love the process of doing it. Even if you don’t reach your ultimate goal, you will be a winner and a success.

Remember the journey, not the destination is the prize – don’t take it for granted.

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Monday Mojo: Grip It and Rip It!

By Tom Tognoli | April 19th, 2010 0 Comments

I was watching The Masters last weekend and what a Masters it was.  As the pressure intensified and the players made the turn at the 9th hole, some folded and some finished strong, but only one persevered to win it – Phil Mickelson.

It is truly amazing to me what those guys can do – especially with thousands of people watching them live and millions more watching them on TV.  If you are a golfer you know just how amazing it really is.  One of the commercials during the tournament summed it all up great in just a few words from the late great golfer Bobby Jones who said “Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears.”  I had heard it before but it had been a long time so I scrambled for a piece of paper and wrote it down knowing that had the makings of a great MOJO.

Think about it – the average golf course on the PGA tour plays about 7,000 yards…4 miles.  As big and daunting as it can seem with water, bunkers, trees, wind, lightening fast greens and competition…at the end of the day winning is not really about conquering the course, but more about conquering your thoughts.  It is our ability to remain focused, disciplined and remain under control in the face of stress, obstacles and competition that makes winners.  Everyone has to play on the same course whether it is golf, business, or life.  Like golf, to win at anything in life the challenge is mastering the five-and-a-half-inch course.  There are just some who know how to play five-and-a-half-inch course better than others.

So next time you are trying to figure out how to cut some strokes from your game at golf, business, or life perhaps we should look at hitting a few less proverbial golf balls at the range and look at doing things to help us conquer the five-and-a-half-inch course between our ears.

Grip it and Rip it!

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Tags: , , , , , , , , ,      Categories: Breakthrough, Fear, Goals, Monday Morning Mojo, Success

Monday Mojo: Life is Not Baseball

By Tom Tognoli | April 12th, 2010 0 Comments

Being a pitcher in baseball may be the only thing in life where there is a bullpen to finish off the game for you.  With everything else, in order to be successful, you need to not only be good at the start and solid in the middle, but you need to be able to finish strong.

In my job, I am always looking for ways to motivate and inspire people to improve and do better.  But the most amazing thing to me is how many people can get fired up about starting something that will make them better.  They are raring to jump in and participate, but once the novelty wears off, they end up petering out and vanish into thin air.  Not only do they not finish the game, but they can’t even get out of the first inning.

I have discovered it is really only those who have the discipline and commitment to stick it out once the novelty has worn off – those that keep up the hard work and discipline when no one is looking, that will be truly successful.  It is exactly why we see so many people hitting the gym and eating right on January 1st, when it is “the thing to do”.  But then by Feb 1st 99% of people are right back to their same old bad habits.  They are great starters – but horrible finishers.

I don’t care whether it is sports, family, faith, business, health, or whatever – if you really want to be successful at something you need to be accountable and disciplined in doing the activities it takes in the beginning, in the middle and in the end.

Remember there is no bullpen in life.  If you want to win at anything you need to “be in the game” from start to finish.

Play ball!

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Monday Mojo: Finding Your Meaning and Purpose in Life

By Tom Tognoli | April 5th, 2010 0 Comments

Last Wednesday I had the privilege of attending the 17th Annual Silicon Valley Prayer Breakfast in Palo Alto.  The theme was “Finding Meaning and Purpose in Life”.  There were two incredibly powerful speakers.  I walked out humbled and inspired. I walked out determined to find my meaning and purpose in life.

First was Tim Borland – in 2007 he ran 63 Marathons in 63 days.  Why you ask?  Tim’s life mission is to advocate for children in need by using his gift in endurance running.  Click on the link below and watch this video – this is Tim’s meaning. This is his purpose:

Tim’s four keys to finding meaning and purpose in life:

  1. Focus on the needs of others before ourselves.
  2. Develop an accurate view and understanding of fear.  He said fear of failure is a dream crusher.
  3. Be willing to risk it all.
  4. Pray for a God inspired vision.

Second was Joe Ehrmann. He played football for the Colts for 13 year and was named Colts’ Man of the Year.  In the same year Ehrmann played in the Pro Bowl he watched his brother Billy loose his fight with cancer.  This experience caused Ehrmann to rethink and reorder his priorities in life. Ehrmann spearheaded the construction of a Ronald McDonald House in Baltimore in memory of Billy. In the off-season, Ehrmann attended classes at Dallas Theological Seminary and, following his football career, he graduated from Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia, specializing in urban ministry. He was ordained in 1985. Parade Magazine name Joe the “Most Important Coach in America” due to his tireless efforts to change the culture of sports.  Joe and his wife Paula co-founded Building Men and Women for Others to help every man, woman and child reach his or her potential.  He was also the recipient of the National Fatherhood Initiative’s Man of the Year Award.

This is his meaning. This is his purpose:

As a Pastor for more than 25 years of his life he has been with many people as their life on earth ends.  He said – all people care about at the end of their life is who did I love and who loved me, and did I make a difference.  Nothing else matters – not money, not fame, not power – nothing else.

Two ordinary men doing extraordinary things.  So, what is your meaning and purpose in life? If you don’t know – find it!

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Monday Morning Mojo: The Circle of Success

By Tom Tognoli | March 1st, 2010 0 Comments

The key to achieving your dreams is making the choice to. The most common difference between those who have an AWESOME life and those who don’t are simply the choices they make every day.  It’s not their circumstances, the way they were raised, or their education.  Most people who are not accomplishing their dreams in life are those that have chosen not to. These people just aren’t willing to do what is necessary to have a life that good.

Think about your life for a moment, what do you want and what does it take to get it?  So, why haven’t you been doing what it takes to get it?

Before you start with all of the excuses, ask yourself – if you really had to do it, could you?  Let me make it clear how this is a choice – I don’t even like to think these thoughts, but it will help you understand that you can do it, if you want it bad enough.  If the person or people you care about the most lives depended upon it, could you do it? We both know the answer. Of course you could and would.  Life is a series of choices – I call them the Y’s in the road.  In most cases if you take the easy path – the one most people take – you will experience short term gain and long term pain. On the other hand if you have the courage to take the other path – the one most will not take – you will have some short term pain, but long term gain. So, make the right choice and have a life of pure magic!

Start by making the choice everyday to FEEL GOOD.  Because when you FEEL GOOD you are ATTRACTIVE. When you are ATTRACTIVE, you have AMAZING PRODUCTIVITY. When you have AMAZING PRODUCTIVITY, you have EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS. And when you have EXTRAORDINARY RESULT, you feel even better! It is the circle of success.

Make it a GREAT week and make the right choices.

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Thursday Thoughts on Leadership: Post-its® – why didn’t I think of that…

By Gino Blefari | February 18th, 2010 0 Comments

Opportunity often comes suddenly. Great ideas sometimes come from an unexpected place.  And every once in a long while breakthroughs emerge in a manner that makes you think, “Why did I never think about that before?”

These things can’t be forced, but good leaders know to recognize – and act – on them quickly.

Here are three examples:

#1. The Post-it ® note story

Spencer Silver, a researcher at 3M in the early 1970’s, was working to develop a strong, lightweight adhesive. He failed. His work remained on the shelf, never reaching the market.

A few years later, Arthur Fry, another 3M researcher, became frustrated that the markers he placed in his church hymnal to keep track of each Sunday’s selections kept falling out.

Then he remembered Silver’s “failed” adhesive.

Fry coated his markers with the stuff and, well, you can guess the rest. Post-it Notes® hit the market in 1980 and became an office staple.

#2. Tight end in motion

The great Forty-Niner Coach Bill Walsh tells his own “Post-it story” in his book ‘The Score Takes Care of Itself.’

It happened when Walsh was an assistant coach with the Cincinnati Bengals, in a game against the Oakland Raiders. Bob Trumpy, the Bengals tight end, mistakenly lined up on the left side of the line of scrimmage. Trumpy realized his mistake and went in motion to the right side before the ball was snapped. All hell broke loose in the Raider defense. The tight end had never gone in motion in the NFL. Three of the Raiders actually collided in the middle of the field trying to adjust to this move.

Soon every team in the NFL started putting the tight end in motion.

#3. The triplicate file

My own Post-it story came early in my career. My assistant John Thompson (yes, that John Thompson) was just out of college. He had no experience in real estate. He also did not have what we referred to in those days as a “Brag Book,” a book filled with client testimonials and listings you had sold that you brought with you to listing or buyer presentations.

So John, lacking a Brag Book, took along a triplicate file  – one of those nice looking file folders lawyers use. He would fill it with the contract and other forms used in a transaction. Although he was very inexperienced I observed sellers’ reaction to John improved simply by virtue of this rather impressive looking prop. Soon, I started inserting the triplicate file into my presentations and it was one of the biggest factors in me closing 50+ transactions in a single year.

Brian Crane, our Los Gatos Manager, refers to this as an “X Factor,” that small thing that makes a big difference.

What is your Post-it® story?

I suspect you have your own version – that moment when something that profoundly changed your life or business came unexpectedly.

Email me with your story and I may share it in future installments of this newsletter.

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Thursday’s Thoughts on Leadership: Leaders Understand – Failure is a Part of Success

By Gino Blefari | January 29th, 2010 0 Comments

Most of us have heard the story of Thomas Edison failing his way to success in the invention of the light bulb.

He literally failed 10,000 times before getting it right.

If Edison had said, “I am a failure. My idea is bad, my work is misguided, my mission is lost,” the world would be a much darker place. Of course, what he did do was learn from the failures, made changes, and tried again.

Bingo.

Early in my real estate career I seriously was considering quitting the business. I struggled greatly for my first deal. Then out of the blue a friend called and said he wanted to move. I said to myself, “OK, I will get out of the real estate business after I close this one deal.” That deal led to another and another and pretty soon there was no looking back.

One year later I had closed 52 deals!

Here is what I have learned: when you have a setback – losing a big sale, being passed over for a career-making promotion, even getting fired – allow yourself a short time to grieve, then get right back up on your horse and plan your next move.

The great coach Bill Walsh, in his book “The Score Takes Care of Itself,” recounts how close he came to quitting in the second season as 49er head coach, hitting rock bottom after a crushing loss to the Miami Dolphins. He spent part of a transcontinental flight experiencing an emotional meltdown.

Sixteen months later, the San Francisco 49ers became world champions, defeating the Cincinnati Bengals 26-21 in Super Bowl XVI at the Silver Dome in Pontiac, Michigan.

A football dynasty was in the works. The 49ers won five Super Bowls over fourteen years.

Thomas Edison and Bill Walsh both understood that failure is an integral part of success. We would do well to follow their lead.

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Monday Morning Mojo: 5 Tricks to Achieving Your New Year’s Resolutions

By Tom Tognoli | December 28th, 2009 0 Comments

As we start a New Year this week lets all make a commitment to turn up the heat at least one more degree in 2010 and see what happens.  So many times in life the gap between what we have and what we want seems so far apart, yet most of the time it is not nearly as far apart as we think.  Click here to watch the video and then turn up YOUR heat at least one degree to make 2010 your best year yet!

Here are 5 Simple Tricks to Achieving Your New Year’s Resolutions. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

1. Get specific

A vague goal is as useful as no goal at all. General ideas about what you want give you nothing to work with and nowhere to go. It’s only when you get specific about what you want that the path to success is revealed. Take time to narrow down your resolutions into specific ideas and turn your vague goals into crystal-clear goals.

2. Spread the word

Don’t keep your goals all to yourself. The more you share your goals with others, the more life you give to those goals. It gives them the chance to grow and gain momentum.  So, tell at least two other people about your goals, and be sure not to make the mistake of giving without receiving; spend just as much time listening to ideas as you did in sharing your own.

3. Buddy up

When it comes to living a better life, few things are as powerful or persuasive as a living, breathing human being.  Books, tapes, etc. can help you along, but nothing can compare to one-on-one interaction.  The buddy system is one of the most effective goal-achievement tools you can use. By partnering with a goal-seeker, you’ll have all the support you need to achieve anything you set your mind to.

4. Burn the bridge

While preparing his next book, a famous writer listed his weight at fifty pounds lighter than reality. Not only that, but he did so knowing full well that only months after publication he would be paraded in front of thousands of his biggest fans. Why?  To burn the bridge of easy escape. He knew he needed to lose the weight, but he also knew he would give up on the goal without any pressure to follow through. By promising his public a fifty-pound weight loss, he had no choice but to achieve the goal.  What steps can you take today to burn the bridge of an easy escape and commit yourself to living a better life?

5. Do something – NOW

As they say, there’s no better time than the present, and when it comes to living a better life, they couldn’t be more right.  The true power of taking one small step comes not in the small step of progress you’ll make, but in the act of doing something about the things you want.  As you know, getting started is often the most difficult part of the process. Millions of people dream, but few actually ever take action…and that is why it is critical that you do something today. Think of one small step you can take right now that will bring you closer to accomplishing your goal and once you have it in mind, DO IT! Don’t think about it, don’t consider it – JUST DO IT NOW!

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