Last week I met with a friend who was going through some very difficult transitions, and largely frustrated by the choices in which he needed to make due to these transitions. He was digging in his heels, wanting the circumstances to change; yet knowing nothing was going to change.

Later, I was discussing this with my husband and he astutely reminded me that it is his choice to be upset, angry and frustrated.

At first, I wanted to defend my friend, but as I started thinking more about the situation, I realized my husband was right, it was my friend’s choice to be mad, or be accepting.

Now, I know (first hand) life feeds us lemons sometimes and we don’t ask for them (or we don’t think we do). For example, when I broke my leg last year and had surgery, did I want that to happen? Of COURSE NOT!! However, the outcome through my recovery has changed my life in ways I couldn’t imagine and in one aspect, today; I am a stronger, different person. (This we can save for another Wednesday Wellness topic another day!)

So, when I think of my friend, did he ask for his circumstances? Most likely not in the way he imagines, but he now has the choice of how to deal with the situation. He cannot change what is happening to him, but he can change his response and direction moving forward and dealing with the problem.

When I work with someone who has diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and/or obesity issues, I can ask “is this something that this person has asked for?” Most likely not; but what he or she will do with the hand he or she has right now, in this moment is their choice. They can be proactive and make choices to change “was” to “is” or they can direct their anger at all the situations in their lives which has brought them to this unhealthy state.

We’ve all heard this a dozen times, but truly, the choice is ours. We might not wish some of the circumstance of our life as our choice, but how we change the course of our situation is truly within our grasp.

So, as you read this, reflect on your life and what obstacles you have put in your own way, or what another has put in your way. What choice can you make to push these obstacles aside and move forward towards a healthier lifestyle, a happier lifestyle? What can you do to smile in spite of your troubles? What action can you take in order to make your life the one that you see you should be in? As cliché as it sounds, the choice is our own.