Posts Tagged ‘motivation’

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Weekend Wellness: What Works and What Doesn’t?

By Tammy Parkinson | March 20th, 2012 0 Comments

“What is working for you?”

“What is not working for you?”

I had these two questions asked of me about a week ago.  It is pretty thought provoking.

When we take a view of our day to day regiment, consider what you are doing that really “works” in your life.  Let’s dial it in a little further and pretend you have a goal to lose 20 pounds and it is coming off, yet ever so slowly.  There has got to be something you are doing right (even though it is happening slowly)…and it’s working well for you.  What is it?

If you want to work even better, break it down and do more of it if possible!  Maximize this edge.

Here’s another example; let’s say you want to increase your client base and although you have been getting new business, it is happening much slower than you need to pay your bills.  Here again, you are doing SOMETHING right, so get clear on that and see what you can do to clean it  even more.

Conversely let’s say in both situations something simply is NOT working for you.  Can you define what that might be?  Get clear on what you keep stumbling over and kick it out of your path!  With your weight loss plan you realize that when you don’t eat for 4-5 hours, you become famished and over eat.  So, what do you do?  Make sure you have a snack with you and avoid going beyond 4 hours before you eat a meal.  Watch the habits that derail your best efforts and make what doesn’t work, work!

With your client list, you realize when you let a week go by without follow up, your clients fall off the radar!  So, stop that habit and follow up every few days, for example!  You know in your gut what IS working and what IS NOT…define it then see your life blossom!

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Thoughts on Leadership | Leaders Know How to Attract Attention

By Gino Blefari | September 1st, 2011 0 Comments

To accomplish anything in life as a leader, you’re likely going to need help from other people. Regardless of how talented or accomplished you are, you can’t always assume that you can count on attracting and retaining the attention of others. It will be more and more challenging and rewarding to hold onto the attention of those who matter to you.

Attention provides leverage. The more people leaders can attract and motivate to join them on a challenging quest or initiative, the more impact they are likely to achieve. So, what are effective ways to attract and retain the kind of attention that helps leaders to address the challenges they face? Here are four steps that build on each other.

1. Embrace mystery - Frame the more difficult problems that are relevant to you and need to be solved. Help people to understand why these are such significant problems and why so many people have been unsuccessful in trying to solve them. It probably will not attract the people looking for easy answers, but it can attract those who are naturally curious and looking for stimulating challenges.

2. Focus inquiry – Don’t try to suggest answers. Frame interesting questions instead. Help people gain perspective by posing questions that intrigue and motivate them to start investigating the mysteries that lie ahead.

3. Excite the imagination – Provide some “what if?” scenarios to illustrate the possibilities that await those who manage to come up with creative answers. Paint the pictures but make it clear these are only pictures. Stimulate people to pursue the questions with a lot of energy and creativity.

4. Be authentic – If you are not genuinely engaged in addressing these problems yourself, you will not be able to sustain the attention and effort of others to come up with creative solutions. On the other hand, if you are on a quest yourself, leading by example, you could have a contagious effect and the encounters you have can help both sides to learn from each other.

Do these techniques actually work? Well, think of how Martin Luther King excited and mobilized a broad group of people to tackle some very challenging social problems. On a completely different level, one leading tech company in Silicon Valley regularly attracts the attention of the venture capital community by sharing its most difficult technology problems and suggesting that they would buy the start-ups that come up with creative solutions to these problems. Or look at the way professional astronomers have mobilized a global network of passionately engaged amateurs to learn more about the vast universe beyond this planet.

This kind of attention is priceless and powerful. All leaders need to find ways to generate it and harness it. This is not just an opportunity, but increasingly an unavoidable obligation. Leaders are all experiencing increasing economic pressure as individuals and institutions. In this kind of environment, leaders not only need leverage, but also need to more rapidly improve their performance.

Leaders get better faster by working with others. To do this, they first need to attract their attention. If they fail to attract that attention, they will not get better faster in an increasingly competitive global economy, and they could be overlooked. That is why attention is becoming more valuable at the same time that it is becoming rare.

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Wednesday Wellness | Practice Perfect Technique.

By Tammy Parkinson | August 31st, 2011 0 Comments

Bonnie Kathleen Blair (born March 18, 1964 in Cornwall, New York) is a retired American speed skater. She is one of the top skaters of her time, and one of the most decorated athletes in Olympic history. Blair competed for the United States in four Olympics, and in her Olympic career won five gold medals and one bronze medal.

Once interviewed, she indicated she never trained for power or speed, but technique.  If she perfected her technique, then when race day came, she always knew she would skate her best.

In our daily habits, are we perfecting our technique, or are we always hoping to win the race, by being faster and stronger at any cost?

I’ve learned that when we push hard to “win” we usually compromise safety and often can injure ourselves at a devastating cost.

If we can tighten up our finesse, our technique by how we train, such as running in better alignment with our body, or slowing down our yoga practice to stretch our muscles safely instead of “pushing” the pose, or even fine tuning our “practice” of how we order our meals at restaurants, then we will get into such a rhythm of technique that when “race day” comes, everything else will fall into line safely and efficiently.

Since I learned this “mantra” of Bonnie Blair, I have given great thought to how I train when I water ski, cycle, workout with my trainer and when I practice yoga.  It was a powerful statement for me to train a different way…in all areas of my life.  I hope this can offer you some insight to your daily habits as well and as some say… “slow down to speed up”!

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Monday Mojo| Amy’s Inspiration

By Tom Tognoli | August 29th, 2011 0 Comments

It’s been 5 years since my cousin Amy passed away from breast cancer at the age of 41. In the final year of her life she received Monday Morning MOJO every week and loved it. We shared thoughts back and forth via e-mail many times after I would send it. This is the MOJO I wrote after she passed away on my flight back home from her memorial service. I have made a commitment to send this out as a Monday Morning MOJO every year at this time as a tribute to Amy and her life. I think there are great thoughts in this MOJO that one can never hear too often.

I walked into my home on Saturday night from one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life.

Attending and presenting a reading at the funeral of my 41 year-old cousin, Amy.

Amy was beautiful, healthy and living the American dream. She had a storybook marriage and two beautiful daughters (12 and 14) when tragedy struck sixteen months ago.

In the words of her daughter, “It was a clear blue spring day -well, at least it was outside, because inside it was raining. We felt sadness and disbelief from the bad news. Not just regular bad news – but the kind where your life seems to fall apart in just two simple minutes. We listened closely to mother as she whispered, ‘Its cancer,’ and immediately feelings of shock, anger, and fear rushed through us all.”

Under her tears her daughter said faintly “Just never lose faith. Nobody knows what it’s like until it happens to them. And when it’s YOUR Mom how you view the world begins to change. You look at the mountains and now see their magnificence, just as seeing my Mom smile became everything to me. I started to appreciate life so much more. During those final months we would spend time gazing at the night sky, and I treasure everyday what she would say, ‘I love you more than all of the stars in the sky.’ Looking back at how it used to be, and how it would have been, and how it’s going to be without her by my side – truly it will never be the same.”

Her words I repeated over and over in my mind. It felt as though someone had shook me – forcing my eyes open to see the world for what it really it was. Forcing me to take a hard look at the ultimate truth, the truth that has the power to wake us up and make us live before it’s too late.

“Amy is gone,” the truth told me quietly, “and someday you will be, and so will all the people you love – it’s just a matter of time.”

So I ask you – are you doing what you want to do right now with your life, or are you putting off living your hopes and dreams because you think there will always be a tomorrow? If my cousin were here she’d tell you differently, she’d say “there will come a time when tomorrow doesn’t come, and you are wasting your time if you are not loving and laughing and enjoying your days now, while you can.”

This leaves us with a choice – we can delete this message because we find it too depressing, or we can let this message be a force that pushes us over the tipping point into the life we dream of. That is most often what it takes, something so strong it carries us past our fears and doubts and the terrors that come when we think about finally doing the things we’ve been dreaming about for so long.

Let Amy be your inspiration this morning. And realize she had a great life, doing the things she loved, with the people she loved – and she would want you to do the same.

I’ve heard it all; it’s just not possible, I’ve got obligations, responsibilities, and don’t forget the economy, and of course the- I can’t just DO what I want – I’ve got a job, bills, yada yada yada…

All those excuses mean nothing when your time comes, and who knows when that might be. All I know is the days are passing quickly and now is the time to do what YOU KNOW you need to do. Don’t put if off, or you may just be too late.

We will miss you Amy.

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Thoughts on Leadership: How to Turn Failure into Success

By Gino Blefari | August 25th, 2011 0 Comments

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career; I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over in my life. And that’s why I succeed.”
-Michael Jordan, 2006

Failure. We all experience it. Most of us see failure as a negative thing, which makes sense; it doesn’t feel good to fail. We all want to succeed and failure feels like a setback to that goal. What we don’t realize is that failure presents an opportunity to learn, grow and succeed. Check out Michael Jordan’s “Failure” Nike Commercial.

Michael Jordan is a fun example to look at. When most people think about this basketball legend, they’re not immediately thinking about how he didn’t make the varsity basketball team his sophomore year in high school. They’re not thinking about the times he lost the game-winning shot. They’re thinking about his achievements: six-time NBA champion, five-time MBA MVP, 14-time NBA All-Star, two-time NBA Slam Dunk Contest winner, Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year.

Michal Jordan’s success was real. People like to say that he was born a “gifted” basketball player, that Mark Zuckerburg was born a technology genius, and that Martin Luther King was a born leader. What we fail to realize, though, is that none of these successes were born that way. No one is born to play basketball, create a social media phenomenon, or to be a legendary leader.

Turning failure into success is hard work. It takes dedication and vision. When I was a brand new realtor my first coach Tom Hopkins taught me an important philosophy on failure and rejection that has resonated throughout my entire real estate career. He said “I never see failure as failure, but only as a learning experience. I never see failure as failure, but only as the feedback I need to change course in my direction. I never see failure as failure, but only as an opportunity to improve my sense of humor. I never see failure as failure, but only as an opportunity to practice my techniques and perfect my performance. I never see failure as failure, but only as the game I must play to win!”

Learn from some of the greatest champions on earth how to take the reigns and turn losses into wins – adapted from Adam Appleson’s book, “7 Steps to Turn ‘Failure’ Into Success:”

  1. Grin and bear it.
    When Michael Jordan came across rejection, he met it by practicing more.
  2. Take a time-out.
    The greatest ideas were founded when men and women were away from their usual routines. Albert Einstein was on vacation in the Apennine Mountains when we wondered what would happen if a ray of light became imprisoned.
  3. Assess whether your current plans are realistic.
    If things aren’t happening as fast as you’d anticipated, by the deadline you set for yourself, the deadline may not have been realistic. Don’t be afraid to make new plans and pursue them.
  4. Get support.
    Have a team behind you to get you through the rough times and keep you motivated!
  5. Play a game called “15 Ways…”
    Grab a sheet of paper and brainstorm 15 ways you can overcome whatever obstacle is standing between you and your goals. The first five are usually pretty obvious, but the last 10 are usually a bit harder to come up with, and often surface the innovative solutions you hadn’t thought about already.
  6. Pick a hero.
    Every time you fail and want to give up, ask yourself what your hero would do, then go do it!
  7. Go out and execute every day.
    Commit to doing one thing for your dreams every day. You know the saying, “genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.”

True leaders do not fear failure; they know how to use failure to their advantage. Like Michael Jordan said, he has failed over and over again, and that is why he succeeds. Take chances and don’t be afraid to fail, it could be the secret to your success!

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Wednesday Wellness: The Mentally Tough Shall Prevail…

By Tammy Parkinson | August 24th, 2011 0 Comments

What differentiates someone who succeeds in life versus one who doesn’t? Luck? Genes? Money? Well, maybe for some, but I believe that those who are the “toughest” are the ones who ultimately succeed.

Now, when I say tough, I’m not referring to physical strength. Rather, I’m talking about mental toughness, or mental fortitude. Fortitude is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as “Calm Courage”, and it takes a great deal of “calm courage” to succeed–whether it is on the physical playing field, or the playing field of life.

There are some people who are innately strong–both physically and mentally. Take the Tarahumara Tribe of Indians, who are known to run for days on end, in the grueling heat, traversing treacherous landscapes as a way of life, and as a way to have “fun.” Can you hear me laughing out loud? Yup. This is indeed fun for them, and they live their lives to run and run to live. In fact, Christopher Mc Dougall wrote a book about this band of people called, “Born to Run.”

But what about the rest of us, the mere mortals who find running two miles, or even two blocks, a daunting task? What makes us different than the Tarahumara?

Well, it turns out that the only thing that separates us is our mental fortitude. Indeed, these calm people run because they are not just physically strong, but they are MENTALLY strong. And we can all glean a HUGE lesson from this.

We all face challenges in life–some of us want to lose weight; some want to run our first marathon, 10K, 5K or simply walk a mile; some want to gain upper body strength; and some want to come back from injuries–ranging from near-crippling to something perhaps more simple like a sprained ankle. Whatever your particular challenge may be, in order to overcome it will require not just strength of body, but strength of mind.

Why is this so?

For me, I spent nearly 10 years racing endurance events ranging from mere marathons to Ironman distance triathlons–a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike ride, and a 26.2 mile run, or a marathon. And yes, they were all in one day. And yes, they all followed each other sequentially. And yes, we “raced” to finish–we competed not simply completed. And how did we do it? We persevered.

From these years, I learned that I have far more fortitude than I ever thought I had. There were many times when I “beat” men and women who were stronger than me physically, but not stronger mentally–I never, ever gave up or give up. And I have carried this very important lesson into other areas of my life, so that when I tore my Achilles and chose not to run for a year (after much agony), and even when I’ve faced financial adversity, or break-ups or the loss of loved ones, I’ve KNOWN that I have enough “strength” to get through anything, because I will not give up. I have that calm courage.

The truth is, we all have that calm courage. Sometimes, we just don’t realize that we have it and that we can use it ANYTIME we want.

How do we persevere? Just like how we finish a marathon–by putting one foot in front of the other. Over and over and over again….You can do IT, whatever IT is. Simply call upon that calm courage and persevere. And I guarantee you, you will succeed.

Written by Stacia Carney
CPT Body Firm Los Gatos, CA

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Review your goals before moving forward.

By Tom Tognoli | August 22nd, 2011 0 Comments

Here is a great question…Where will you be in ten years from now if you keep going the way you are going?  Reflect for a moment on last week and ask yourself this question…”if I do exactly what I did last week, every week for the next 10 years where will I be personally…professionally…spiritually…in my relationships with those I love and care about the most…how will my health be…what will my bank account look like in 10 years from today?

So many people fail to realize that success at anything in life is the result of little successes achieved over a very long period of time.  Truly successful people are long-term thinkers.  They know that they must build upon each achievement and constantly learn new and better ways of doing things.  A regular review of your progress is essential part of goal setting.   A goal is a little more than a wish unless it has a timetable for completion.  Make sure your plan for your life includes short, medium and long term goals.  Revise your goals as things change…check them off when they are completed and set new bigger goals for yourself as you grow.  And take time to reflect often to make sure you are on the right track.

Make it a GREAT week!!!!

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Thoughts On Leadership: Leaders Need Those Who Know How

By Gino Blefari | August 18th, 2011 0 Comments

Last week, we looked at the importance of planning ahead from Simon Sinek’s book “Start With Why.” This week is a further look at the book, specifically on Chapter 8 and the discussion of ‘Those Who Know WHY Need Those Who Know HOW.’

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 8: Start With Why, But Know How, that I wanted to share with you:

The pessimists are usually right, to paraphrase Thomas Friedman, author of “The World Is Flat,” but it’s the optimists who change the world. Bill Gates imagined a world in which the computer could help us all reach our greatest potential. And it happened. Now he imagines a world in which malaria does not exist. And it will happen. The Wright brothers imagined a world in which we’d all take to the skies as easily as we catch the bus. And it happened. WHY-types have the power to change the course of industries or even the world…if only they knew HOW.

WHY-types are the visionaries, the ones with the overactive imaginations. They tend to be optimists who believe that all the things they imagine can actually be accomplished. HOW-types live more in the here and now. They are the realists and have a clearer sense of all things practical. WHY-types are focused on the things most people can’t see, like the future. HOW-types are focused on things most people can see and tend to be better at building structures and processes and getting things done. One is not better than the other, they are just different ways people naturally see and experience the world. Gates is a WHY-type. So were the Wright brothers. And Steve Jobs. And Herb Kelleher. But they didn’t do it alone. They couldn’t. They needed those who knew HOW.

“If it hadn’t been for my big brother, I’d have been in jail several times for checks bouncing,” said Walt Disney, only half joking, to a Los Angeles audience in 1957. “I never knew what was in the bank. He kept me on the straight and narrow.” Walt Disney was a WHY-type, a dreamer whose dream came true thanks to the help of his more sensible older brother Roy, a HOW-type.

Walt Disney began his career creating cartoon drawings for advertisements, but moved quickly to making animated movies. It was 1923 and Hollywood was emerging as the heart of the movie business, and Walt wanted to be part of it. Roy, who was eight years older, had been working at a bank. Roy was always in awe of his brother’s talent and imagination, but he also knew that Walt was prone to taking risks and to neglecting business affairs. Like all WHY guys, Walt was busy thinking about what the future looked like and often forget he was living in the present. “Walt Disney dreamed, drew and imagined, Roy stayed in the shadow, forming an empire,” wrote Bob Thomas, a Disney biographer. “A brilliant financier and businessman, Roy helped turn Walt Disney’s dreams into reality, building the company that bears his brother’s name.” It was Roy who founded the Buena Vista Distribution Compan that made Disney films a central part of American childhood. It was Roy who created the merchandising business that transformed Disney characters into household names. And, like almost every HOW-type, Roy never wanted to be the front man, he preferred to stay in the background and focus on HOW to build his brother’s vision.

In nearly every case of a person or an organization that has gone on to inspire people and do great things, there exists this special partnership between WHY and HOW. It is the partnership of a vision of the future and the talent to get it done that makes an organization great.

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Wednesday Wellness : Is there a perfect body shape for all activities?

By Tammy Parkinson | August 18th, 2011 0 Comments

Over the weekend, I joined a riding group in the Sierra Foothills on a “bike shop” ride.  It was completely last minute and I went more for the comradery, exercise and scenery.  I only knew one or two of the 50+ riders.

As I hopped on my bike, bleary eyed at 7:30 in the morning, I was quickly humbled by the level of athleticism.  It was everything I could do to keep up with the “middle/slower paced” group.

On a 4 hour bike ride, you really have time to think and ponder ideas.  One that kept coming up for me was the varieties of shapes and sizes of each of the riders.

One might “assume” a fit rider would be tall, young, lean, and have muscular legs.  I have to tell you, the age range was from late 20’s to late 60’s, and just about every height and weight passed me by at some point!  (and  I mean ripped by me!)

I kept thinking about what “athleticism” or an “athletic” body is.  Society dubs what “should” be a perfect shape, yet these perfect shapes often have no strength or health.  We are “shaped” as apples, pears, eggplants, green beans and about any other vegetable or fruit we can dream up!  That doesn’t mean we aren’t “perfect” if we have something other than a magazine emphasized body.  What we DO with our shape, how we emphasize what we are designed by nature to do is up to us; and if we hone in on what our specific body is good at…we can improve in ways we can’t yet imagine!

I find that I excel better at endurance sports and get crushed at most fast quick activities (that doesn’t mean I don’t have fun…I just don’t do as well!)  I know several who have beautiful perfect “shapes” but are challenged on a 3 mile walk.

Who is to say what our “perfect” is except ourselves (and maybe our doctor).  As long as we try to do what we can with our physical bodies, our best is a gift!

Go out there, look around, notice what you like to do and what you find your body likes.  Explore new things; try your hand at activities you are inspired by.  No one but YOU can know what you are capable of! Maybe I’ll see you ripping by me on a bike ride!

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Monday Mojo: Tell me to kiss off, but don’t blow me off

By Tom Tognoli | August 15th, 2011 0 Comments

Earlier this month my close friend, who is a VP for a company here in Silicon Valley, and I went with our families on vacation together to Maine. While on the trip, I was talking with my buddy about some of the keys to being successful in life. We decided that if you want to know one sure fire way to completely sabotage your growth and success in business it would be to blow people off.

One of the biggest things that drive successful people crazy is when people blow them off or give them the old “well…maybe” brush-off. What makes successful people successful is they are DESISIVE and they hate it when they leave someone an email or a voicemail (sometimes 2 or 3 of them) and it is like their messages vaporize into space. It is why most people have hundreds or in some cases even thousands of emails in their inboxes. These types of people don’t want to deal with situations that may be uncomfortable so they blow the sender off instead of just dealing with it. If you want to make a simple job seem a lot harder then just keep putting it off. Most people are people pleasers and they may not have the courage to deliver bad news directly. They will duck dive around the issue at hand instead of just saying NO. They will just reply with” maybe”, “I will get back to you later” or they will blow the matter off all together. I am here to tell you that procrastinating your decisions in life is a death wish for your business and relationships.

If you want to make more money, be more successful, create not only better but also lasting relationships, be more respected, and downsize the amount of stress in life, find the courage to just say it like it is. Don’t avoid it. The person you are dealing with will not always like your answer, but trust me, even if your answer is NO, they will appreciate not being put through the ringer and they will respect you more for it. Tell them “yes” or tell them “no”, but do not tell them “maybe” or worse yet, don’t blow them off just because you don’t have the courage to say NO.

My message is simple this week. Be decisive and have the courage to communicate your decision. I promise it will have a huge positive impact on your life and business.

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