One aspect that sets leaders apart is their ability to make deep connections with other people. This bond creates a sense of trust and loyalty between parties. “This process of making deeper connections with people [has] a profound payoff.”
‘To get the most out of people, you need to see them on more than a surface level. You really have to get to know what makes them tick. When you do that you’re a little bit more human, and you create a system that‘s more trustworthy. Learning about their interests and passions made a huge difference in getting them connected to what we were trying to accomplish. It allowed me and it allowed others an opportunity to figure out how to motivate these people in order to do something that was absolutely extraordinary” (10-11, The Leadership Challenge, Kouzes and Posner).
To help you with this somewhat challenging task, here are 18 great innerview questions to get a deeper connection with those you lead wether it be an employee or a customer you are leading to make a sale. I first learned these at a Dale Carnegie class and have found them quite helpful in getting to know people.
- What do you do?
- How did you get started?
- Where are you originally from?
- What else do you do besides work?
- What’s your current family situation?
- What was your family situation growing up?
- What kind of memories do you have about childhood?
- What’s one memory that stands out?
- Were you active in school?
- Who from your childhood had the biggest impact on you?
- What did that person teach you?
- As you look at your life like a radarscope, there will be ups and downs. What’s one of the highest highs?
- What does that tell you about yourself?
- What’s one of the lows?
- What got you through?
- If a young person asked you for advice on how to live your life, what would you tell them?
- What does the future hold for you?
- When your life is over, how do you want to be remembered?
These questions can also make for a great team building exercise. Divide your team into pairs. Give each pair a list of the questions and allow them 30 minutes. The first person will ask all the questions and the second person will answer and then they will switch with the second person asking and the first person answering. When the 30 minutes are up, bring the group back together. Have each pair stand up, introduce themselves to the group and answer the following 2 questions.
- What’s one thing I learned about my partner that I didn’t know before?
- What did I learn about my partner that makes me appreciate or respect them even more than before innerviewing them?
Not only will your group learn a little more about each other, but creating this deeper connection amongst the group makes for a stronger team.

