Posts Tagged ‘time’

Monday Mojo: Amy’s Inspiration

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It’s been 4 years since my cousin Amy passed away from breast cancer at the age of 41. In the final year of her life she received Monday Morning MOJO every week and loved it. We shared thoughts back and forth via e-mail many times after I would send it. This is the MOJO I wrote after she passed away on my flight back home from her memorial service. I have made a commitment to send this out as a Monday Morning MOJO every year at this time as a tribute to Amy and her life. I think there are great thoughts in this MOJO that one can never hear too often.


I walked into my home on Saturday night from one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life.

Attending and presenting a reading at the funeral of my 41 year-old cousin, Amy.

Amy was beautiful, healthy and living the American dream. She had a storybook marriage and two beautiful daughters (12 and 14) when tragedy struck sixteen months ago.

In the words of her daughter, “It was a clear blue spring day – well, at least it was outside, because inside it was raining. We felt sadness and disbelief from the bad news. Not just regular bad news – but the kind where your life seems to fall apart in just two simple minutes. We listened closely to mother as she whispered, ‘Its cancer,’ and immediately feelings of shock, anger, and fear rushed through us all.”

Under her tears her daughter said faintly “Just never lose faith. Nobody knows what it’s like until it happens to them. And when it’s YOUR Mom how you view the world begins to change. You look at the mountains and now see their magnificence, just as seeing my Mom smile became everything to me. I started to appreciate life so much more. During those final months we would spend time gazing at the night sky, and I treasure everyday what she would say, ‘I love you more than all of the stars in the sky.’ Looking back at how it used to be, and how it would have been, and how it’s going to be without her by my side – truly it will never be the same.”

Her words I repeated over and over in my mind. It felt as though someone had shook me – forcing my eyes open to see the world for what it really it was. Forcing me to take a hard look at the ultimate truth, the truth that has the power to wake us up and make us live before it’s too late.

“Amy is gone,” the truth told me quietly, “and someday you will be, and so will all the people you love – it’s just a matter of time.”

So I ask you – are you doing what you want to do right now with your life, or are you putting off living your hopes and dreams because you think there will always be a tomorrow? If my cousin were here she’d tell you differently, she’d say “there will come a time when tomorrow doesn’t come, and you are wasting your time if you are not loving and laughing and enjoying your days now, while you can.”

This leaves us with a choice – we can delete this message because we find it too depressing, or we can let this message be a force that pushes us over the tipping point into the life we dream of. That is most often what it takes, something so strong it carries us past our fears and doubts and the terrors that come when we think about finally doing the things we’ve been dreaming about for so long.

Let Amy be your inspiration this morning. And realize she had a great life, doing the things she loved, with the people she loved – and she would want you to do the same.

I’ve heard it all; it’s just not possible, I’ve got obligations, responsibilities, and don’t forget the economy, and of course the - I can’t just DO what I want – I’ve got a job, bills, yada yada yada…

All those excuses mean nothing when your time comes, and who knows when that might be. All I know is the days are passing quickly and now is the time to do what YOU KNOW you need to do. Don’t put if off, or you may just be too late.

We will miss you Amy.


Monday Mojo: Poor planning on YOUR part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine

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Poor planning on YOUR part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine.  I love that quote!

We start our day with the best of intentions to get all those important things done on our list. We plan on doing all the things to get us closer to accomplishing our goals and dreams.  Then, before we know it the day is over and nothing on that list got done, but we are exhausted from a busy day-a busy day of doing the urgent, not the important.

How did that happen?

Because we let others dictate how our day will go instead of taking control. We let other people’s urgent issues, a result of their poor time management, poor planning, their drama, and their procrastination, take priority and control over ours.  Remember, poor planning on THEIR part does NOT constitute an emergency on your part.

Most of us are doing the urgent and that is why we never seem to get closer to our goals and what we want to accomplish.  The key is being disciplined enough to brush off the urgent and do the important. It is probably one of the biggest keys to success.

So, how can we do that when all of our time is spent just dealing with the crap and people coming at us all day – their urgent stuff, you ask?  Learn to say NO! It will be tough in the beginning, but after a while of saying NO and not letting yourself get dragged into other peoples drama, into their urgent and out of control life, eventually they will just stop screwing up your goals and take it to someone else or better yet, figure out how to deal with it on their own.

So, to get your important stuff done, make a conscious decision every day not to get caught up in the drama of everyone one else’s urgent life. Learn to say NO!


Monday Mojo: Never, never, never be late

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We have something in my family called Tognoli time – always be at least 5 minutes early for every appointment.  It is something that has been ingrained into me since I was a kid by my dad.  I don’t care what it is – going golfing, going to church, going on vacation, going to the doctor, coming over for dinner – going anywhere or doing anything, my dad has always been and continues to make sure no one ever has to wait for him for anything.

I am proud to say, the apple has not fallen far from the tree, because I am the exact same way – for that matter, so are my boys.  I cannot stand being late and making other people wait for me. Time is the most valuable asset any of us have in our life and being late tells people you do not care about them and their most valuable asset, their time. Remember, you never get a second chance at making a first impression and your first impression is what time you show up…early, on time, or late.

As important as being on time or a little early can be, I never realized how just how valuable it was until I read the following story. It is a classic and really drives home the point:

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.

A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

“It is said that your first impressions are the most powerful,” he began, “and upon my assignment to this church so many years ago, one of my first duties was to hear confessions and, I must confess, after hearing the very first one, my impression was that I had been assigned to a terrible place. The person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a TV set and when questioned by the police was able to lie his way out of it. He had also stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled.”

The priest’s eyes then turned misty as he continued, “But as the days went on I learned that my flock was not at all like that first penitent and that I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to give his presentation and opened with the following:

“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived, in fact I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession…”

Moral of the story – never, never, never be late!